Day 126: New Years Resolutions

Tomorrow night marks the end of 2009. What have I done and accomplished in 2009? What do I want to accomplish in 2010?

Going from 2009 to 2010 isn't a big deal for me. When I started my bucket list, it was like I was making resolutions already. I got an early start. Why should I start it right in January? I started it in July. One thing I want to add to my list is eating more healthy and more exercise. Yes, I know it is my new years resolution every year. I even started my Health and Wellness blog. I worked on it for about a week or two and I fell off the wagon. It's really hard to keep track of what I'm eating when I'm constantly eating out. When I eat out, I feel like I'm spoiling myself so I splurge on what I eat. I went to Hawaii and I didn't keep track of what I ate. It was about exploring different foods and enjoying them not restricting myself.

In terms of exercise, I want to do more yoga. I bought the yoga pass a few months ago. I used my yoga pass for the very first time this month. I am hoping to use it more in the new year. I want to go to as many of the yoga studios as I can before it expires in July. In conjunction with yoga, I can fill my time with more sporting activities. Maybe even hit the gym a few times this year?

I am not sure what 2010 has in store for me. I hope it is great and filled with fun and adventure.

Day 125: Relationships - part 2

My first ex boyfriend broke my heart. I realized it has been 15 years and I really need to let this go. Yes, he had a place in my heart. But it is time for him to move aside to make room for someone else. I was comparing every future boyfriend to this guy. That's what I was doing for years. No one compared to him. I think that's why the relationships never lasted. But I realized every guy is different. They have their own set of values, personalities, and previous experiences. I do have to accept the whole package.

I do have my list of what I am looking for in a guy (doesn't every girl?). Does a guy like that exist? I am not sure. Some qualities I don't really find out unless I have been dating them for awhile. Can I check off all the items on my list? If I don't, what item does he not meet? Is it really important? Is it worth breaking up for? I know it takes two to make a relationship work. I know it's a lot of effort. I have realized that if I don't keep my end of the relationship, it goes into shambles.

I have dated alot of idiots and losers. I know better now (at least I am hoping). I think that's how my list developed. By dating the idiots and losers I know what I didn't want in a guy. Now my list is really long. After breaking up with a guy, I would add an item or two into the list.

Day 124: "What I'd really like to be doing now is ________."

If money and time were no object...I would be chilling in a warm place deciding what my next adventure will be (either it be travelling or learning something new).

1) Travelling
Travelling is very tiring for me. It wears me out physically. But I want to see and hear different sights and sounds. I like to see how the locals live and the little nooks and crannies of the place. I don't mind seeing the regular / popular tourist attractions, which I should go see anyways.

2) Be somewhere warm (maybe even hot)
I have been to a few warm places (like Barbados and Hawaii). I get cold really easily and have to wear my 5 layers of clothes. I am not sure what it is internally that I can change to adjust my body temperature. If I live somewhere warm, I don't have to worry about my 5 layers of clothes and I get to wear my cute dresses.

3) Do something adventurous every day (or every other day or weekly, doesn't really matter the frequency)
Sometimes I don't think there is enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. It doesn't really help that half the year it gets dark at 5pm. I need to live somewhere that doesn't change time zones and stays warm all day. I have bad eyesight, especially in the dark. If I were to do something adventurous at nite, I may run the risk of killing myself.

4) Learning something new
I wanted to learn to swim. I started taking swimming lessons. I wanted to write. I took a creative writing course. I was thinking of taking Physics 11 or even Chemistry 11. There are free adult upgrading courses. Some people look at me really strangely at why I want to take those courses. My answer is simple: I didn't take them in highschool so I want to learn them. I think its fun to learn something new. I get to decide if I like it and continue with it or that I don't like it and never take it again. At least I tried it.

Day 123: I got skillz???

I was at my aunt's house tonight for Christmas dinner. My cousin and his wife just gave birth to twins. The twins are in the hospital because they were born prematurely. My other cousin and I went to see the babies' room. Another cousin said she wasn't finished painting the room. But we took a peek at the room anyways. One wall had a jungle scene. There was a tree branch, a lion and another animal. It was very cute. As we were walking out of the room I turn to my cousin and said 'I wish I had creative skills, like singing, dancing and painting.' She just looked at me with this confused look wondering why I said that. She said I have skills. She said I am good with interacting with people and remembering people's names. I gave her a confused look. I don't think those are special skills. I just thought those skills are skills that everyone else has. How can I differentiate myself if everyone has those skills also? Interacting with people is a skill? Maybe some people are better than others? Maybe that's why you get wallflowers at a party? I don't think I am a wallflower at a party but I am also not the 'life of the party'. I am in the middle, where I think most people are.

Day 122: Christmas Eve

Tonight we had dinner at my mom's cousin's house. I have never been there before. They had their house custom built. It is a very nice place. It is a three level house decorated with contemporary furniture.

There was so much food. There was garlic toast, salad, beef stew, bbq ribs, steak, shrimp pasta, potato salad and bean salad. For dessert, there was a tiramisu cake, fruit and homemade cream puffs. These are the best cream puffs I have ever had! My mom's cousin is the best at making the cream puffs. She learned to bake them from her mother in Vietnam. The filling isn't whipped cream like at the stores. It's more of a custard filling.

I was excited to go tonight because I would be seeing some cousins that I don't see very often. I wasn't sure who was coming. My mom has a large family. She has lots of cousins. It's the second cousins who are around my age which I wanted to see. Some have kids and I haven't met their kids before. My cousins and I hung out with some second cousins who are girls. They are in their late teens. When they were younger it was hard to hold a conversation with them. It didn't seem like I had much in common with them. Now since they have grown up a bit, it is much more fun to talk to them. We talked about boys, relationships, stalkers and clubbing. At one point there were two male cousins who joined our conversation. They gave us their two cents on stalkers and relationships. One thing I learned from the conversation tonight was that young teen boys are sensitive and emotional and expect the girls to ask them out. That is so different from when I was a teenager. Boys were more tough and they asked the girls out.

Day 121: Spontaneous

Some people like to be spontaneous. Some people are scared of change and don't like to be spontaneous. I would say I am 70% spontaneous. I can't say 100% because sometimes I just don't feel like being spontaneous. I may not be in the mood to go out. Maybe I'm too tired. There has been times when someone calls and asks if I would like to go out that nite. If I have no plans, I would go out with them. If it's something I don't feel like doing, I will not go with them.

I like being spontaneous. It's fun. You never know what adventures you get yourself into. Sometimes I am out doing something but then it leads to another fun activity. I am out to find my life's purpose and passion in life. I will not find it if I sit at home all day. Maybe I will get inspired by watching all the TV shows? I would rather get out there and experience life. I do like to plan my schedule sometimes. It gives me an idea of the activities that will be happening. If there isn't anything scheduled, I'm up for being spontaneous. Ideally, I would like to find a guy that is open and accepting of my spontaneity. I don't think it would be good if I dated someone is as straight as an arrow and never wanting to try anything different.

Day 120: Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a trait that is very admirable in a person. I have read where people have forgiven others for the most heinous crimes. I have heard that you have to learn to forgive someone for you to move on your life. It's easy for me to forgive if it is something menial. If it is a complicated situation, I don't know if I will be able to forgive that easily. I think time heals. Do I really want to carry on the anger and spite inside of me? If I do, how long will I carry it on for? Every time I think of the situation, negative feelings will emerge. We all know that negative feelings are bad for a person's health.

I think as you get older you learn to forgive more easily. You realize that somethings aren't worth your time to dwell over. Maybe you realize time is short and there is no point in staying mad at someone. Maybe that's why older people are more happier? They have forgiven others and learned to live a happy life.

Day 119: Loyalty from friends

I realized today that there are friends that are loyal to you just because they have known you for a long time. I hung out with this one girl all thru high school. After high school, she moved away. It was about a month before our friends funeral (refer to Day 118 post) that she emailed me. She apologized for 'disappearing' for so many years. I accepted her apology. Since then we hung out. I would consider her my best friend. I told her so many things that I wouldn't tell anyone else. We would go watch movies. We would go for dinners. We would just go and do things together. Exactly last year I asked her to hang out on Christmas day because I know she doesn't celebrate Christmas. She never responded to me. I later found out she went snowmobiling with some guy on Christmas day. I thought the considerate thing to do would be to just tell me she was going out with someone or that she was busy. If you are busy, you can just tell me and we can plan something else another time.

My ex and I were having problems around Christmas time last year. January rolled around and we were still arguing. I think he was being spiteful when he told me that he was hanging out with my 'best friend.' What I didn't know was that they have been hanging out for few months. They were hanging out together alone without me knowing. I know they can be friends with whoever they want. I just don't think it's right to be hanging out with your friends boyfriend alone. The only reason why they didn't tell me that they were hanging out was possibly they were hiding something from me.

Another thing he told me when he was being spiteful was that she was only my friend because we have known each other for a long time. We didn't have lots in common but we had fun when we hung out. Does that mean her loyalty to me stemms from the lenght of time we have known each other not from the quality of time we have spent together? I haven't spoken to her since last Christmas. Is it really worth my time to establish a friendship with someone who isn't loyal to me for the right reasons?

Day 118: Who will be at your funeral?

My friend was the first to ask me this question years ago. I met him in high school. At our graduating ceremony, he won all the awards that were associated with academics and sportsmanship (he was a straight A student that played every sport). After high school, eventhough he was busy with work and school, he still managed to spend some time with me. It always seemed like he knew where he was going with his life. Every time we hung out, he always would say something that would motivate me or inspire me to do more with my life. He is the only one that I know of that had companies calling him to ask if he would want to work for them.

He grew up in Vancouver. After high school, he went to a local university for a few years then he moved to Toronto. When he was in Toronto, we communicated by writing to each other and later on, emailing each other. He was a student at Ryerson for a few years then he started teaching there. One of his favourite things to do was to ride his motorcycle. One day when he was riding with a bunch of his friends, tragedy struck. His motorcycle didn't work properly and he passed away. He was only 25 years old.

He had two services: one in Toronto and one in Vancouver. About 300 people came out to say their good byes in Toronto. I went to the one in Vancouver. There was about 300 people there also. I can't believe how many people came out when his service was held on a Wednesday at 10am. That many people had gotten the time off work and / or school to say their last good byes. We asked this question to each other when we were about 19 or 20. I don't think at that time he would ever imagine that many people would attend his funeral. He made an impact on everyone's life that he came across. If he didn't, they wouldn't be at his services. He lived life to the fullest extent never knowing when his last day will be. After his passing, Ryerson and his high school established scholarships bearing his name.

Who will be at my funeral? I am hoping my family for sure. I am hoping I make an impact in people's lives that they would want to attend my funeral.

Day 117: Appearances

In our society, people make judgment on your appearances. If I were to walk around in ragged clothes, people will think I am a bum. If I dress in a suit, people will think I have an awesome job.

I think I am pretty low maintenance. My hairstyle is pretty basic and simple: wash and go. No makeup in the mornings. I only wear makeup on special occasions like weddings. As far as jewellery goes, if I remember, I may wear a necklace to work. I have simple casual necklaces and have fancy sparkly ones for special occasions. I don't wear rings and earrings every day. I don't style my hair, wear makeup or wear jewellery because I can't wake up early enough to fit everything in.

Does not taking the time to make myself prettier effect how people view me? Will they like me less if my hair isn't as puffed up and pretty like theirs? Can anyone tell if I have makeup on? I am still me on the inside.

Most people will meet me on my relaxed and casual days. I would rather they meet me on a casual day then on a special occasion day. I want them to see the 'real' me and not the 'artificial' me first. I don't feel like I have to impress anyone. If a guy is already hanging out with the 'casual' me, I don't really think a bit of lip gloss will make any difference.

I have met some guys who are borderline metrosexuals. They use more skincare products than me. I don't know if it's embarrassing for me if a guy takes more time and effort on their appearances.

Day 116: 'You just know when you love someone'

The first time someone told me this it was 12 years ago. I was confused by this comment (apparently I get confused quite easily, so this isn't a surprise). How do you 'just know'? I couldn't ask her more about that because we were at work and it was hard to have that kind of conversation. From then on, it was a journey to figure out how you 'just know'. Do you meet someone for 15mins and know? Do you hang out with someone after a few dates and then you know? Do you know after you first kiss them? When is the point when you realize you are in love with them?

In my parents generation it was arranged marriages. They learned to love each other. Divorce wasn't/isn't in their vocab. It was/is very shunned upon. You just have to deal with each other's idiosyncrasies. You play the hand you are dealt.

Fast forward 30 years later in Canada. I have a choice on who to marry. There are so many different nationalities of men to choose from. I have dated younger guys and older guys. I have always ended up with guys who aren't right for me. Once little things start to get on my nerves, I know it's time to ditch him. Once I don't make time for him anymore, it's time to split up.

I can't say I've ever been in love before. I can just imagine how love will be like (maybe it's my high hopes and dreams what love will be like). When you see each other, there is feeling of elation. When you hold hands or cuddle with each other, there is a feeling of comfort and relaxation. Nothing matters in this world except you two. When you kiss, you have the sense of being connected to each other. The feelings intensify with the combination of kissing, cuddling and holding hands. You don't want the day to end. You just wish time can stand still for awhile so you can savour the moment just a bit longer. When the person leaves, you are counting down till the next time you see each other. When they are not with you, you replay all the joyous moments together and wishing they are in your arms. You are looking forward to trying new things together. It is a person that I would want to walk in the park with when I'm old and grey.

Maybe you 'just know' when you get that feeling in your heart?

Day 115: Jealousy

My ex from a relationship five years ago thought that a little bit of jealousy is a good thing. He said it shows you care. I was trying to understand his point of view. To me jealousy isn't a good thing. If you are a jealous person, it shows me that you are insecure and unable to trust. The jealousy may stem from previous broken relationships. Maybe you are afraid that it may happen to you again.

I think jealousy can be prevented. You can communicate about the situation and resolve the issue before it gets out of hand. I have to really think about why I am jealous. Is my guy hanging out with a girl? Am I jealous about the girl or about what my guy will be doing with the girl? Is he spending more time with his friends? Am I jealous about how much time they are spending together? If I am starting to feel jealous, I have to re-evaluate my feelings for that person. Maybe that person doesn't like me anymore and wants to spend more time with other people? Maybe there isn't anything to be jealous about?

Now I don't think it is worth my time to be jealous over anything. I think jealousy will take too much time and energy. If he's spending too much time with a girl I dont like, I have to ask him why he's doing that. I will have to trust his answer. I can't think of other scenarios where I may get jealous. If I am getting jealous over little things, maybe it's time to re-consider the relationship. If he is constantly doing things that he knows will get me jealous, it's time to kick him to the curb.

Day 114: Relationships

People have different expectations in relationships. Some guys want the girl to make the first move. Some girls want the guys to make the first move. Some think going dutch is ok. Some expect the guys to pay when they go out to eat. Some want the guy to drive them everywhere. Some it doesn't matter who drives.

Wow! This relationship thing is quite complicated. How do I know what the guys wants or expect of me? Sometimes they don't ask. I end up doing something silly in their eyes and soon we are broken up. What did I do wrong? I never find out cause we don't talk after we break up. I am only friends with some of my ex's. I don't develop a friendship with them until years after we break up. Then it doesn't really matter why we broke up. There is no point in re-opening old wounds.

Sometimes I just don't like the guys I'm dating anymore. It's really hard for me to just come out and say it. What do I say? 'I don't like you anymore'? What if they say 'why'? I don't have anything. 'I don't have feelings for you anymore'? Wow! That would be pretty harsh. What ends up happening is that I do things that break up the relationship. I know that isn't really a good idea. It's mean to carry on a relationship that isn't working. I know I have learned from that. I just have to see how I deal with my future boyfriends.

Day 113: 5th day in Hawaii

Today my friend was going to go climbing with his friends. I didn't want to go climbing. While he goes climbing, this was my last opportunity to go to Waikiki. My friend's friend was driving her mom and grandma to Ala Moana Center. I went along for the ride. There is a shuttle from Ala Moana Center to Waikiki. I took the shuttle to almost the last stop in Waikiki. I had my friend's Oahu Lonely Planet Handbook to help guide me. I was a bit hungry because it was about lunchtime. I saw a L&L Hawaiian BBQ restaurant. The day before a lady from my kayak group said it was a great place to get food. I decided to try it. I really had to go to the bathroom and L&L didn't have a bathroom in their location. They told me to go across the street into the trade center. While looking for the bathroom, I found The Shiatsu and Massage Center on the second floor. A few days prior I was flipping thru one of those visitor guide books and clipped some coupons. One of the coupons was for The Shiatsu and Massage Center. I bought the 1/2 Lomi Lomi Massage and 1/2 shiatsu. I have never had a shiatsu massage before so I didn't know what to expect. The Lomi Lomi Massage is a special massage from Hawaii. The atmosphere was very relaxing. They played slow soft nature like music. It was so tough to get up and get going into reality.

After my hour long massage, I was ready for lunch. At L&L I ordered a combo. It included bbq short ribs, fried shrimp, pan fried mahi mahi, macaroni salad and some rice. For $9, I could've had it for two meals. There was so much food! I brought the food to the beach. That way I can have my lunch and check Waikiki Beach while I was there.

Waikiki Beach was so busy. It is such a tourist destination. The many hotels are right on the beach. There were soo many people on the beach. Many were beach bums, just sitting soaking in the sun or reading. Families bring their kids. There were couples young and old. Some people just walk the beach. Some had their boogie boards. Some were surfers waiting for the waves. After I finished my lunch, I walked around the main street. There were so many expensive stores; Ferrari Store, Coach, Hermes, etc, etc. There were also areas where they had carts / kiosks selling different things ranging from souvenir t-shirts to jewellery to bags. I ended up buying a casual purse. It's black and has sillouette of palm trees. I continue my shopping go to my last shopping destination, Hilo Hattie.

Tonight was the nite we fly back to Vancouver. From Hilo Hattie, I took the shuttle back to Ala Moana. My friend picked me up there. We went back to the apartment. My friend's friend's mom cooked us some food before we went to the airport. That was my last day of twenty something degree weather. Back to the cold wet Vancouver weather.

Day 112: 4th day in Hawaii

This was the only day of the week that was pre-planned. Every other day was pretty spontaneous. We decided on what to do in the mornings. But this morning was different. My friends friend had been planning this since we got to Hawaii. This was the only day we could spend with her. She planned a kayaking excursion with a tour guide. It was an all day trip.

We had to be at the kayak location at 9 am. There were also a few other people in our tour group. There was 5 of us in total plus the tour guide. Once we all got there the tour guide taught us how to kayak properly and a few safety procedures. We got in the water and started to kayak. I was the lagger in the group. I didn't mean to be. Maybe I'm weaker than the others. Maybe the wind and water were againest me. Maybe I wasn't kayaking properly. At certain points we stopped and the tour guide explained to us about the history of Hawaii. We were heading to another small island. It is actually a bird sanctuary. We finally made it there. There were other groups of people there. Most of them were surfers wanting to catch the nice waves. We were supposed to go snorkelling. But our tour guide suggested we go kayak surfing. He had a tandem kayak and took one person at a time. I went first. He led us into the water and waited for a wave. Once the wave came, we rode the wave. It was fun and exhilarating. We caught a few waves. Then it was someone else's turn. After we went kayak surfing, it was pretty much the end of the day. We didn't end up going snorkelling. Then we had to kayak back to the island. This time I was still the lagger. I was tired and the wind and water were againest me.

We went back to the apartment to get cleaned up. Afterwards, we went out for dinner. We went to a restaurant called Big City Diner. My friend's friend said it is a chain restaurant and it's pretty good there. We shared two dishes. We ordered the kim chi fried rice and the full rack of guava BBQ ribs. Ohhh the ribs were soo good. It was a huge portion of ribs and small tiny side dish. The side dish was mashed potatoes. By the end of the day I was pooped.

Day 111:3rd day in Hawaii

I am sorry there are mistakes in this posts. It's A royal pain in the ass to fix. So just pretend you understand what I'm writiing. I've been using my friends itouch while we are in Hawaii. I don't think it likes blogger.com.icant seem to write in my blog. I've decided to write here for now until it get home. I didn't get a chance to write last night. Today is my fourth day but I'm going to write about my third day.

We started our day at about ten am. We went on a short hike. The person we are staying with took us to secluded hiking trail. It isn't a desinated hiking trail. It took us twenty minutes to get to our stopping point. It is launch station for people who parasail. It view was fantastic. We can see the ocean, the mountains , and little houses. It took us about twenty mins to hike down.

After the hike we wanted to go snorkeling at Hanauma Bay. We drove by at about one'ish. The parking lot was full and no where to park. We continued our drive up to the North Shore . the north shore is the place for surfers. There was a surfing competition there. I wanted to do some gliding and he wanted to do some hiking. The gliding and hiking place are close together. We drove by the norrth shore to get to the gliding and hiking places.
On the way there we had lunch at another shrimp truck.

Gliding was an experience. Why do I want too do things that scare me? Life is an experience. I get into a glider plane with a pilot. There is another plane that tows up into the air. The gliderplane doesn't have an engine we go up 3000 feet then we are released from the other plane. Then we just down. I paid for a twenty min ride. After 15 I was feeling a bit nauseated.and asked to come down. Man I as so sick when I landed.

After gliding I went to my very first luau. We went to germaines luau. I was wearing a floral. dress. the price included three drinks, dinner and a chance to win prizes. At the start of the luau the had a hula lesson. I went on stage with of other woman and practiced the hula. The food was good.after dinner they had performances of the various forms of island dances. Because it was held outside and I was wearing a dress the Mosquitos bit me. tonite I.am sitting here writing this and icing them to make sure they are gone by the time I get back to Vancouver.

Day 110: 2nd day in Hawaii

Today was a busy day for us. We went to many places and went for a long drive.
We started our day with Pearl Harbour. There is lots of history there. There was a twenty minute video on the history of pearl harbour. Then we went on a ferry to see the USS ARizona. It is an memorial for all those who lost their lives inthe uss Arizona .

We drove along the highway towards the North Shore. Our first stop was the Tropical Farms
Macadamia Nut Outlet. It wasn't one of our intended stop but it was really neat there . They had a daily tour at eleven am but we missed it. .we just walked afou d the gift shop and tried the various flavours of mac nuts .I tried the coffee and caramel flavoured covered mac nuts. We didn't buy any mac nuts there. They were too expensive.
We were hungry and wanted some lunch. We headed to the Shrimp Shack. We ordered crab cakes and coconut shrimp. Both were deep fried with coconut and served with rice. We accidently found the World Cup of Surfing. We stopped for a few minutes to watch . After that we headed to Waimea bay Beach Park . We went to play in the water for a bit. There were waves coming in. I would stand in the sand by the shallow end of the water and i would wait for the wave to hit me.it sounds weird but it was fun. We stopped to get some shaved ice at Matsumoto. It's a large sno cone . We finally made it to the Dole Plantation. It was neat to see how pineapples grow.
We went for sushi. Then we went outlet mall shopphing. I only bought a couple of items.

Day 109: 1st day in Hawaii

My very first day in Hawaii.it's very exciting . Everything is new and interesting .
We flew In at eight pm last night . We were hungry and headed out for some food. Afterwards we went to bubble tea joint.
I tried some shaved ice for the very first time. On the shaved ice we had green tea
ice cream, bubbles , mango, tea jelly , and red bean. It very tasty.

This morning we started our day late at ten am. The weather was weird.
It was super windy and showering. The weather kinda determined what we
were going to do. We decided on going to Diamond Head for a hike.
It was an hour hike going up and down. it was a great view at the top.

After the hike we went to grab some lunch.we heard about his place
that has macadamian nut pancakes . We shared the pancakes
and a breakfast dish with ribs.

We met up with my friend who lives here . We hung out at a lagoon
and I practiced my swimming. the water was so cold.

after swimming we went out for dinner. We went to place called Ono.
It has authentic Hawaiian food. It's a hole in the wall and it's good.

You have to excuse my typing. I'm using my friends Itouch and the buttons
are so small. I feel like I have fat fingers.when I make a mistake I
may be too lazy to correct it.

Day 108: Most memorable birthday

I had my birthday bash yesterday, Fri, Nov 27. I can say it is one of the most memorable birthdays so far. There was lots of food. Some of my friends practised their culinary skills by making something. Some brought desserts. It was all good! It was great to have my friends over. I am very glad everyone got along with everyone else. Everyone is pretty easy going and easy to talk to. If they weren't easy to talk to, there were activities that encouraged conversation. I had everyone wear a name tag. But the rule is to not write your real name. It has to be an adjective, a word you like, a phrase you like, or anything else you feel like writing. Some people has a tough time thinking of a phrase. Some words included 'yellow', 'pink', 'Detriot Dan', 'Random Hero', 'Al Dente', etc. I think it made it more fun and entertaining. I also had two banners on my wall. The top banner was '33 Questions for Lisa'. Everyone was encouraged to write a question about me, ideally something they don't know. People came up with the most interesting questions. For example, 'why are your eyebrows so nice?', ' if you were a fish, what fish would you be?' Later on the night, I answered all the questions. Apparently, the reason why I'm cheerful all the time cause I'm on drugs..hahah.. The bottom banner was 'Lisa's Birthday Banner'. It was basically a huge birthday card. They can write whatever they wanted. All of them were wishing me a great birthday.

I think some of my friends have sick perverted minds. With the stickers, one of them draw boobies and stuck it on his gf. Another person drew a penis. That was popular with the guys. The penis was disturbing to some people. But it was all in the name of fun.

We also did a shot of rum. I know it's pretty gross to take it straight up but it was all I had. I had to chase it down with some juice to mask the strong flavour. Not everyone did the shot, there was only about 8 of us that did the shot.

I had a goal of 33 people attending my party. I achieved the goal.

Day 107: Loud places

I never really thought about it but I don't really like being in loud places. Tonight my cousin had her birthday dinner at Chambar. It has a really nice decor with the brick wall. The service was good. Our waitress reminded me of Tina Fey with her short dark hair, small face and angular glasses. The only thing I didn't really like was that the music was too loud. I do understand that they need music to give the place some atmosphere. But once it gets to a point were I can't have a conversation with the person next to me, it's too loud for me. There was ten of us at the table. I only can hear the three immediate people beside me. It would be nice to be part of other conversations to spice things up a bit. The conversation with the person on my left got stale pretty quickly. He is my cousin's friend's cousin. He's only 19. We didn't have that many things to talk about. He came up from Seattle for the weekend. I was just being my nosey self and asking him questions about where he lives and where he goes to school. But after awhile I felt that he didnt really want to talk to me. There were some gals that were sitting at the other end of table that I would've liked to talk to. We finally managed to have a conversation outside of the restaurant, where it was a bit quieter.

When I was younger I loved going clubbing. That was about 12 years ago. I go to a club maybe once a year these days. I don't like it so much because the music is too loud for me. I think I would rather have a conversation with someone at dinner or dessert or coffee. At a club it's about yelling in someone's ear. Just because you yelled in their ear, it doesn't actually mean that they understood you. I'm sure there are many miscommunications too. They hear "what? you like my pants?" ....when you actually said "do you want to dance?"

Day 106: The commercialization of holidays

The commercialization of holidays. Does birthdays count as a holiday? Why do we give someone a birthday present when it is their birthday? I'm not sure if it is Chinese or Vietnamese culture, when it is your birthday, you have to treat your friends to a meal or a drink. Doesn't it cancel each other out if they give me a present and I treat them to a meal?

When I came to Canada I didn't know what Christmas was about. We went to our relatives house every Christmas and they distributed presents. It was in school that I learned about Christmas. I don't think my parents know the origins of Christmas. I think they only know the 'commercialization' of it. They know it as a time to give presents to us. As time goes on, they don't know what to give us anymore. We don't celebrate Christmas anymore. It is more of an opportunity to get together with family. There are no turkey dinners. My aunt is asking us what we want for our 'Christmas' dinner. We are requesting salad rolls, springs rolls and other Vietnamese / Chinese food.

For some people it is about decorating their place to be festive and into the mood of the occasion. We have Christmas tree ornaments in our garage. We haven't had a Christmas tree for years. I don't really believe in spending so much on decorations for one day. I guess you can leave the decorations there for a week or so. But it would silly for me to leave birthday decorations on for a few weeks till Christmas??..haha..

I think it is about making money. The retailers know it is a time where everyone spends their money. After Halloween, the Christmas decorations come out. They always skip my birthday! I guess more people spend money on Christmas decorations then birthday decorations. The restaurants know that it is a time for large group bookings. They start taking bookings in October.

I think people have high expectations when it comes to special occasions. If you are dating someone, when it comes to Christmas or their birthday, you are expected to give them a gift. If it's Valentine, you are expected to give something lovey dovey. If only you can express your expectations in the relationship, then you don't have to spend so much on each other. Maybe you don't even have to give each other anything!

Day 105: Early Birthday

The celebration started early! I was at my aunties tonight for dinner. We had hot pot. My cousin's birthday is on November 26 and mine is on the 29th. We celebrated our birthdays with mango cake after dinner.

I think I am a lazy eater. I think hot pot is too much work. I don't really want to go to a restaurant and for them to give me raw food and I have to cook it myself. If I'm going to pay, they should be doing the cooking. I have been to Stone Grill before because of Dine Out Vancouver and of the Entertainment coupon. If it wasn't for that, I wouldn't go there. Really? You want me to pay an arm and a leg for two pieces of veggies AND I have to cook my own meat? What am I paying for? For you to bring me the raw food?

November 29 isn't actually my real birthday. It is on November 25. My sister is really born on November 29 and I am on November 25. When we came to Canada, my dad got our birthdays mixed up and it has been like that ever since. All my government ID's says that my birthday is on November 29. Ok, I have no way to prove that November 25 is my real birthday. I don't have a birth certificate. I can make up any date and say it's my birthday..hahah. It really doesn't matter because it is only a four day difference. It is the same zodiac sign.

It was fun tonight getting together with my family. I got to see my cousin's daughter who is in grade 8. The lifestyle is so much different then when I was younger. She has a cell phone. Damn, when I was 13 I didn't have such luxuries. I saw my other cousins who came back from an European trip. It was neat to see some of their pictures.

Day 104: Visit to the Dentist

At my last visit, they said my teeth were perfect and I just have to come back for a check up in six months. That was about a year ago. Around the six month mark, they would call to remind me to come. I sometimes have a weekday off. I call them to see if they have that day available. Of course they never do because they are so busy. What I have to do to book an appointment, is to book the appointment then ask for the time off. Lucky me they called me today at 8:25 am. They said they had some cancellations and asked if I can come in. What a coincidence that I had the day off today. It was originally scheduled for 1 pm. She can hear the hesitation in my voice. I had other plans at 1 pm. Going to the dentist wasn't one of them. She then called me back at 10:30 to let me know that there was a spot at 11 am. Wow! You should've heard the excitement in my voice *sarcasm* I did tell her I would be late because I just woke up. I got there at 11:20 am. They didn't get a chance to do a complete cleaning on my teeth because I came late. Oh, too bad for me!

The original dentist that I went too was my mom's cousin. She retired. Too bad for me that she doesn't check my teeth anymore. I now have a middle age Asian dentist. He's a very nice man. It's good he doesn't want to do more fillings and work on my teeth. He just told me to keep maintaining my teeth.

This is the only place that I go to that another person that has the same name as me goes to. They didn't realize it was two different people until this year. The other gal is a young Asian gal. One time when I was there for a cleaning, they put notes about my teeth on her file. They just cleaned it up a few months ago. The receptionist had to call me twice that day to make sure the information she was putting in the file was correct.

How I love going to the dentist!

Day 103: Coast Restaurant

Tonight I went to Coast Restaurant on Alberni St with a couple of friends. Overall it was a great experience. It was a chance for us to catch up with what we are doing with our lives. We haven't had a chance to do this for about 12 years. We enjoyed great food and it was very relaxing atmosphere.

The atmosphere was very relaxing. As we approached the entrance of the restaurant, we see the circular bar in the middle. It is lit and there are shelves of wine and seafood. There are mirrors on one side of the walls. They are not mirrors that take up the whole walls, the mirrors are slender and you don't even notice them unless you look really carefully. The mirrors make the restaurant look bigger than it actually is. The restaurant is three 'levels' which allows them to have more seating space. We sat on the second 'level'.

The service was great. Our waitress was very patient with us. I asked about wine flights. On the menu they didn't mention they have wine flights. The waitress said they didn't have it but double checked with someone else and came back to us to let me know that they could accommodate the request. I ordered my drink already so I didn't want the wine flight. By the end of the night, she gave me her card to reassure me that the next time I come I can have wine flights.

The food was good. The special tonight is fish and chips for $14. I don't like eating fries, but I like eating poutine. They have a lobster poutine. It was an extra $5 to 'upgrade' to the lobster poutine. I ordered the fish and chips with halibut and lobster poutine. The waitress told us that halibut season will be over next week. I wanted to take advantage of the halibut while it is still in season. The lobster poutine was great. It had big chunks of lobster. The gravy wasn't too salty. I ate all my halibut. I only ate half of my lobster poutine. I was going to save some room for dessert but I didn't end up ordering dessert. I was too full.

I went to dinner tonight with two friends. One friend I went to high school with and the other I met a few years after high school. The one that I went to high school with I haven't seen him for about 12 years. The other friend I see on rare occasions. We used to hang out about 12 years ago. It was nice to see and chat with them again.

Day 102: Last wedding of the year

Today I went to my last wedding of the year. It was pouring rain outside. But there was lots of love and excitement inside. It was my second cousin`s wedding. She is the one in the middle wearing the wedding gown.*duh* The ceremony took place at a church in downtown Vancouver. We parked at a parking lot across the street. Of course I wanted to look pretty and I wore a dress and high heels. Wearing a dress and walking in the pouring rain isn`t the smartest thing to do. It was a Catholic wedding. There was a lot of reading verses and prayers. It lasted about 45 minutes.

The second part of the wedding was held at a hotel ballroom in downtown Vancouver. There were cocktails served before the reception. It was beautiful inside. The walls were very ornately decorated. The centerpieces were tall vases with white flowers. The chairs had white chair covers with gold sashes. They had an original itinerary. They had four bridesmaids and four groomsmen. When the bridesmaids were introduced into the banquet room, they did a little dance number. When the groomsmen were introduced, they walked in really casually with a beer in their hand. There was supposed to be a short slide show before the bride and groom made their entrance. They had some technical difficulties with the slide show so they showed the slide show later on the evening. They did the cake cutting first. There were some speeches. The best speech was from the brides father. With his best effort at speaking English, he said how much he loved his only daughter and welcomed the groom and his family into his family. I get teary eyed so easily. If someone starts to cry, I cry too. If someone says something sentimental, I cry too. I cried at a few of the speeches. After wiping away the tears, we finally got to eat dinner. It was a buffet with lots of delicious food. After dinner, the dancing started. I got my groove on. It was about 9ish that the dessert bar opened. The most unique item was the fruit with the chocolate fondue..ummm so delicious.

I like attending weddings because it is about reconnecting. It is a great opportunity to talk to cousins that I haven`t talked to in a long time. There was a cousin from San Fran that came to attend the wedding. I don`t get to see her very often. I didn`t get to talk to her much tonight. She was busy with her two daughters. I only got to talk to her for about 5mins right before she was leaving.

Day 101: Is Sarah Palin doing any good for women?

I first heard of Sarah Palin when she was campaigning with John McCain. She has good stage presence. She is very presentable, not old and haggard. She is attractive. I think the reason so many voters liked her was because of her ability to connect with them. Her youngest son has Down Syndrome. She supported the advocacy groups and they supported her.

I think Sarah Palin is doing good for women. She is paving a path for future female presidents. During her live all candidates meeting, I don't think she expressed her views and the views of her party clearly. Maybe it's part of being a politician, to dance around the subject until you are tired. She is showing that a female can achieve anything in politics. But she should have better writers or maybe a better coach. Her answers seems unprepared.

Being in the public eye also means controversy. Maybe that's her way of being in the public eye. Maybe the media probed too much in her personal life? In regards to her daughters pregnanacy, does everyone really need to know? I guess they need to know if Sarah was talking about teenage pregnancy. Her wardrobe made headlines because of their hefty price tags. These days it's about her and Levi Johnson (her ex son in law) duking it out verbally. Levi is writing a book about his life while he was with Sarah's daughter. A year after her campaign, she is still in the headlines.

Day 100: After 100 posts, what have I achieved?

I am having a drink to celebrate what I have achieved after 100 posts. I am trying my best to keep myself on track.

What I have completed so far/ have the intention to complete:

1. Learn to swim - took swimming lessons, just finished Level 1
   
2. Learn to do aqua fit - did it at Eileen Dailly
   
3. Excel at rollerblading - didn't excel at it yet..but working on it
4. Learn Mandarin - took lessons, just have to practice it, should take more lessons
5. Learn pilates - took one session at Bonsor, should take more
   
6. Go rock climbing - indoor and outdoor - went to Cliffhanger (indoor) on Nov 11, 2009
   
7. Go visit Chicago, Illinois - going in March / April 2010
   
8. Go visit Hawaii - going Nov 29- Dec 5, 2009
9. Learn to write - taking a basic creative writing course at Bonsor
   
10. Start and continue a blog about me and my thoughts -ongoing....
11. Donate blood - did it in July
    
12. Celebrate life every day - still working on it
13. Go seadooing (same as jet skiing) - went in Aug 2009
14. Sins of the City Walking Tour - went on Sept 30, 2009
15. Go to Cultus lake - went on Aug 2009

Items on my bucket list still to be accomplished:

1. Run Vancouver Sun Run or another type of run
2. Learn to play golf
3. Learn to ski
4. Learn to snowboard
5. Go horseback riding
6. Learn to play tennis
7. Go to Tofino
8. Go paragliding
9. Go scuba diving
10. Go visit the Louvre in Paris, France (and the rest of Paris)
11. Go on a Caribbean Cruise
12. Take up photography
13. Be a better pool player
14. Take up gourmet cooking
15. Finish my bachelors degree
16. Meet Oprah and talk to Oprah
17. Meet a difference in a persons life every month
18. Donate my hair to raise money for cancer
19. Join Big Sister program
20. Visit Rick in Japan
21. Become more financially literate
22. Find the love of my life
23. Continue with my family tree
24. Go windsurfing
25. Go go - karting
26. Go see Montreal
27. Go see Winnipeg
28. Go see PEI (on the rest of eastern Canada)
29. Go to Birch Bay
30. Go to a cornmaze
31. Go ATV’ing
32. Go camping
33. Go fishing

Day 99: My opinion about how men dress in general

I like men who are dressed in business casual clothes. Guys in suits are hot! Easy double take! They walk by and I would have to look again. Sometimes I don't even notice if they are attractive. But guys can't dress in suits all the time for me. I don't mind casual clothes. A simple sweater or jeans or khakis or something like that. I like simple colors nothing too flashy or that 'makes a statement'. Guys that wear pants that are falling off their ass are a total turn off for me. You can't afford a belt to hold up your pants? No, I don't want to see your underwear underneath.

In general, I think most guys dress well. They know when to dress up and when to dress down. That is one trait that I am looking for in a guy. I don't think it's appropriate to wear ripped jeans or clothes that are two sizes too big for you in a fancy restaurant. There is a time and place for every outfit. If you want to wear your ripped jeans and baggy clothes, wear it at the mall or somewhere casual. If they are playing sports, I expect them to wear something 'sporty'.

I think how they dress is a reflection of their personality. Sometimes they want to be 'loud' and be seen, they will wear something with bold or bright colors or with big bold words on their shirts. Sometimes you can type cast them in certain 'groups' or 'cliches'.

Day 98: My views on when one should end a friendship

There was only one time when someone actually had a talk with me to break up our friendship. This happened in 1997. We walked to the park by my house. He told me he didn't want to be friends anymore. I was really confused. No one has ever done that to me before. Is there an etiquette with friendships that I didn't know about? I think what happened was that he liked me more than a friend. I only liked him as a friend. I guess he didn't only want to be friends. It was either a relationship or nothing. No one has given me that talk since then. We didn't talk for 11 years. It was last summer that I saw him again and we reconnected. I guess time heals all wounds.

I think you should end a friendship when someone betrays you, stabs you in the back or does something evil to you. I think the easiest way is to not talk to them anymore. People grow apart. They may just think that you are growing apart. Do you really want to waste your time to tell them that you don't want to be friends anymore? Will they understand? Will they care? If it gets to the point where you don't want to be friends with them anymore, they are not worth your time. Your time is precious. Spend it with people who make a difference in your life or want your friendship.

Sometimes I feel like I am putting in more effort to be someones friend. I try to connect with them via FB, email or phone. They are always 'too busy' to return my calls and emails. If I never get a response, I get the hint that they don't want to be friends. Then I can focus my energy on my other friends.

Day 97: Wedding Shows

On Sunday, November 15 our company exhibited at two wedding shows. One was Lovestruck at the Vancouver Club on West Hastings St. The other one was Creme de la Creme at Four Seasons Hotel. There were three of us that worked the shows. I was at Lovestruck from 9 am to 3 pm. It was really busy when the show first opened at 10am. I can't believe gals/ladies/ brides line up to come into wedding shows. I thought they only line up at places like London Drugs or Superstore. I don't think they get a prize for being the first ones there. I befriended my neighbours who are exhibiting their DJ servies. We had a beautiful flower arrangement from Flower Factory. Many ladies stopped to admire the flower arrangement. When they are admiring the flowers, I would strike a conversation with them. The show was really small. They had lots of photographers there, like last year. I had a chance to walk around to see all the other vendors. I finished walking around in 5 minutes. The price at the door was $35. There was also a fashion show. When the fashion show was on, the trade show was empty. I was on my feet for most of the time. I didn't really want people to see me sitting. It would seem like I'm slacking off. I was wearing my boots with heels. By the time I left there at 3 pm, my feeties were pretty sore.

I then headed to the wedding show at the Four Seasons Hotel. I walked in the rain. I thought I had to show ID or tell someone that I was with my company so they would let me in the show. There wasn't anyone manning the doors. I walked right in without any issue. I had to find our booth to drop off my things. I walked around to see who the other vendors are. A few minutes after I arrived, the fashion show was just starting. It was like the other show, when the fashion show is on, no one walks around at the trade show. Our booth was in a dark corner and not in the flow of traffic. In the 3 hours I was there, I didn't talk to many people. There were some of my friends who went to the show. I talked to them a bit. My neighbours at this show weren't very friendly. After 9 hours of wedding shows, I was ready to head home.

I went with my cousin and friends to my second Long Table Series dinner. We had turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry. We ended with the sticky toffee pudding. Ummm so delicious.

Day 96: Miracle Berries

I was invited to my friends party on Nov 14. The highlight of the party was the 'miracle berries'. The miracle berries are supposed to make your taste buds taste things differently. My friends bought them online. They are tablets and come in packages of 10. The outer packaging is in Chinese. The foil seal is in Japanese. So not really sure where it is from.

The instructions on the package says to put the tablet in your mouth and let it dissolve on your tongue. Once it is dissolved you can taste sour foods and it will taste sweeter.

My friend's wife was the first to try the miracle berries. We were very curious to see her reaction. She sucked on a wedge of lemon first. She said it tastes sweeter than usual. We got her to taste various foods to see what she tastes. We got her to taste a pickle, some spicy cheese and something sweet. The sour food to her tastes sweeter. The sweet foods tastes sweeter. The spicy food was still spicy, no change.

After I gauged her reaction, I was ready to try a miracle berry tablet. I let it dissolve on my tongue. I used my saliva to help speed up the process. I was really eager to see how things will taste. My first food I tried was a pickle. Pickles are usually sour for me. It was a tasty sweet pickle to me. I then tried a lemon wedge. It was sweeter then usual. I don't usually like sour foods. But after tasting the miracle berry tablets, sour foods are my friends. It only lasts for about 10 - 15 mins.

It was an interesting experience. I think everything has a different flavour for reason. Some people like sour foods, some people like sweet food. I think you should enjoy all the different flavours on your taste buds. It's like a party on your tongue!

Day 95: Superstitions

Today is Friday the 13th. There are 3 Friday the 13th this year. Superstitions are ideas / beliefs that something bad will happen. You have to do things a certain way or something bad will happen to you. Walking across a black cat gives you bad luck?

I am not superstitious. (I really hope nothing bad happens to me because I don't believe it.) My parents are not superstitious with 'western' superstitions. One Chinese 'superstition' is selecting your wedding date. They have to consult someone who is knowledgeable in the Chinese calendar. They believe certain days / dates are best to get married. Those dates will give you the most luck and be most prosperous for your future.

I am sure superstitious stories have been carried on thru generations. That's probably how people become superstitious. If you raised your children without exposing them to superstitious tales / beliefs, I don't think they will be superstitious.

Friday the 13th is almost over. I went to work today. It was quite busy. Nothing bad happened. I went grocery shopping without anything happening. I don't want to say anything more. I don't want to jink anything.

Day 94: TV Shows

There are so many tv shows to watch. Nowadays you can also download your favourite shows. On Global TV you can even watch episodes from the internet. My favourite shows are comedies. I just have cable really to kill time and to procrastinate from doing other things. I like the background noise. I do try to follow the news everyday. I also subscribe to the Province to get the daily news.

I don't have the time or the patience to follow any of the cop, hospital or court dramas. I get distracted easily. I tried watching CSI a few times. I couldn't do it. My computer was sitting right there and I had to check my emails.

Last spring when I was staying at my sister's place in California, I started to watch 30 Rock. It is a funny show. I liked to watch it when I can. It is on Thursday nites at 9:30 pm. I don't put time aside to watch the TV shows. If they are on when I have the TV on, then I watch it.

I like the new show Glee. I like the characters. I like the story line. I guess it's kinda like a musical 90210. I was making an effort to watch it every Wednesday night for the first few weeks it was on. Now, I am out and about on Wednesday nites when it is on.

Day 93: What I learned about myself so far

Since I started my bucket list (or the list of things I want to do before I die), I have learned a lot about myself. It is about focusing my energy in the right time, place and space. If someone asks me to go out somewhere, I have to think about if it is something I want to do or if it is something on my bucket list. If it isn't on my bucket list or something I wouldn't rather do, I prefer to not do it. I would rather focus my time and energy on something I feel is important to me.

Things I have learned so far:
1 - making lists of my goals gives me more focus
2 - fear is no excuse to not do it
3 - I have to try things at least once to make a decision if it is something I like to do
4 - anything is possible
5 - it is important to surround yourself with supportive people -it will take you that one step further
6 - eliminate energy vampires from your life
7 - don't let anyone stop you from your goals -no matter what they are
8 - opportunities come in many forms - take them as they come
9 - I have found that I am more adventurous than I originally thought
10 - I have never would have thought that I would get such a sense of accomplishment from completing something on my list

My bucket list makes my life one big adventure. I feel like a little kid and seeing the world for the first time. Really it is about seeing the world with a different set of 'eyes'. I have a sense of control of my life and what I am doing. Once I complete something off my list, I have space for new items.

Day 92: Pet peeves

Some people have many pet peeves. Some people don't have many pet peeves. Where does the phrase 'pet peeves' come from? It would be interesting to know. I understand the phrase 'pet peeves' as something that bothers you or that you don't like.

Some of my pet peeves:
1) erratic drivers - They would be signaling right but then turn left at the last minute. They make sudden unnecessary stops.

2)arrogant / narcissistic people - Really?? Do you really think you are GOD? Does everyone have to listen to you talk about how good you are or what you like? Really, the conversation doesn't revolve around you. A conversation takes more than one person.

3) inconsiderate people - A simple 'thank you' will do. Don't cut in line in front of me.

I guess I don't have that many pet peeves. Maybe I just can't think of them 'under pressure'. I would like to think of myself as pretty laid back and understanding. I try not to let things bother me. I am sure I have more pet peeves. But until that situation happens, I dont remember it. I guess it doesn't bother that much to remember it all the time.

Day 91: First Experiences

First experiences are both scary but great at the same time. It may lead to bigger and better things. You learn to crawl, then walk then run. When you were crawling, you were excited to be walking and running soon. When you are a baby, you learn about the sights and sounds of your world.

I go thru life going thru first experiences. The first day of high school was a very scary first experience. I don't know what to expect, who will be my friends, how my teachers will be like. My first kiss was kinda awkward. I didn't know how to kiss so the guy I was dating at the time had to teach me. My first boyfriend was an interesting experience. That was the one that broke my heart.

This year was a year full of first experiences for me. I have made a bucket list and it's a list of things I haven't done before. Doing things for the first time is very scary and sometimes I want to back down because I'm scared and its totally out of my comfort zone. It's about living life and experiences. If I don't try it, how will I know if I will like it or not. I gave blood a few months ago. There was a needle in me for about 15 minutes. It was a weird pokey feeling. I didn't want it in there for so long. But I stuck it out. I am taking swimming lessons. I feel embarrassed that I don't know how to swim. I didn't know what the environment will be like: will it be a supportive one? But I realized that we were in the same boat and it was a very supportive environment. I am glad I took that first step. I went jet skiing at Cultus Lake this summer. I was very nervous. What if I fell off? I know I had the life jacket on but it would be better if I knew how to swim.

I am looking forward to completing the rest of my bucket list. Hopefully I will complete half by next year. I get the scary, nervous and excited feeling everytime I go thru my first experiences.

Day 90: How guys always get a bad rap, just cause they are a guy!

Boys can be boys! I think from some movies they portray guys as 'bad boys'. Its the bad boys in the movies that always get the girl. It's never the geek or the preppy guy that gets the girl.

In my previous experience with guys, I have been taken advantage of / screwed over. I now label guys 'jerks' cause of my previous experiences. It is until they show me they are sincere that I remove the label from them. It's about trust and respect also. My defense walls are up until they show me that they are trustworthy. If they do something that reminds me of how I was screwed over, my wall automatically goes up again.

I think being a guy is difficult. You don't know the girls' previous experience. You don't know what is right and wrong in their eyes.

Every time after a broken relationship , I think all guys are bastards! I am mad at all men. I don't want to talk to them. It's like they are all on one team. They ban together to learn to say the same lines to girls: 'Let's just be friends', 'It's me, not you', etc...

I feel really bad for guys who really are honest and sincere and just wanting a nice girlfriend. These potential girlfriends see guys as evil and are bastards. If a guy is too nice to a girl, the girl may be suspicious that there is an ulterior motive.

Day 89: How much does the media manipulate how we as a culture think about someone?

I think the media is a communication tool. The media consists of newspapers, radio, TV and, more recently, the Internet. Any messages sent thru the media is saying 'I've got something important to say, please tell everyone'. You send the media press releases to tell them the information. Each media outlet will interpret the press release differently. One will be on your side. Another will be againest you.

The media has the power to persuade. They may use influential people to help them with their message. Some shows try to be neutral and have spokespeople from both angles. It depends on how well the spokesperson represents their side.

The Rihanna and Chris Brown case is a prime example of how the media manipulates how we think about someone. When Rihanna was abused, it was exposed all over the news media outlets. They portrayed her as an abused victim. They never got her side of the story. They protrayed Chris as the awful abuser. The media had the power to convince the viewers to sympathize with Rihanna. Even when Chris apologized for his actions, he didn't get as much media attention. His apology on YouTube didn't get as much airtime as when he abused her.

I also think some stations are owned by certain political parties. All their views are swayed to that particular party's beliefs.

Day 88: My Favourite Restaurant

I love food. I appreciate eating food more than I did when I was younger. As I grew up, I like to try various restaurants. Maybe to see the different experiences. Food for me when I was younger was a survival method. Now food is more enjoyable and not so much a chore. I eat really slow. I heard it is better for your metabolism if you eat slow. I eat slow and enjoy my food while I'm chewing it. I am not a pro at distinguishing different flavours. But I know when I like something and when I don't.

My favourite restaurant is Kingyo. It is located on Denman street. I think some people have heard of this restaurant. Not everyone has heard of this restuarant becuase when you walk by it's just looks black and hidden. The sign isn't that big for you to notice the restaurant.

My first time there I was with my friend. We made a special trip to go to that restaurant. I read a review of that restaurant and asked my friend if he wanted to try it. I didn't decide it would be my favourite restaurant till I have eaten there a few times. It is an izakaya restaurant. Izakaya restaurants are Japanese tapas. The food is served in small plates.

My ex and I lived in the West End. Kingyo was within walking distance from us. We went there once and we liked it. Then we went there the next time and enjoyed it. We went there at least once a week for about two months.

I like it there for many reasons.
1) The decor/atmosphere - when you walk in, the wall on the left is decorated with pictures from Japan. It looks like authentic suburban Japan. It gives me a taste of what it would look like in a small town in Japan. In the middle of the restaurant is the 'bamboo bar'. It's a rectangular bar but with floor to ceiling bamboo shoots. The dining tables look like they are from ancient Japan. They play jazz music which is very relaxing and soothing.

2) The service - they are all very nice. They wear uniforms that are clean and appropriate. They wear short sleeve button t-shirts with their logos on it. It not too sexy or revealing for the girls. If you ask them about the food, they are well versed in what they serve. The service is consistent.

3) The food - the taste of the food is delicious. We tasted about 1/3 of the menu. It all tastes different. The food is consistant. We tend to order the same dishes over and over because we liked it. Every time the food came out, it tastes the same and we can expect it to taste good. We know what to expect on how it tastes. There are several izakaya restaurants that are similar. But I think this is by far the best one. The other ones are cheaper but the food isn't as good and the atmosphere isn't as good.

Day 87: why people have an instinctive need to be be "richer" or greedy

"Why do people always want to amass material things and stop at nothing to
 get more and more, never satisfied?"

Life is always greener on the other side. Your friend has Prada or Gucci
bag. I admire or maybe are even envious of her. You vow to yourself
that you will one day get a Prada  or Gucci bag. You always want
 what you don't have. Someone else always has something better
 than you. Maybe you don't appreciate what you have? Maybe you
take it for granted?

Is money the root of all evil? Some kids kill their parents for the
insurance money. That's greedy. I don't know what it is about
 greed. It is a evil trait that some people possess. They just
 want more and more. It is never enough for them. It may be a
status symbol. It maybe a chance to life the high life with
the mansions, cars and beautiful women. They want to be
 better than their friends and family. They want to be known
as the wealthy one.

Some people think that material things make them happy.
 "If I get that purse, I will be happier." If I buy myself that car,
 I will be happier." They may believe that money will
buy them happiness. Money will get you more opportunities,
which may cause you  to be temporary happy.

They want to be richer because they don't want to struggle
 with money. Maybe it's  not about how much money
you have but how you handle your money? Maybe
they see their parents struggle with earning money
and they don't want to go thru the same situation.
They want to easily earn the money and spend the money.
They can then buy themselves all the things they wanted.
Maybe it's a symbol of freedom? They can go anywhere anytime. 

Day 86: Love

What is love? It is a very hard question for me to answer. It is very auspicious. It is intangible. I think I have been in love only once in my life. It was my very first boyfriend. He broke my heart and I was crying for days, even months. I was so heart broken that it effected other aspects of my life. I wasn't concentrating on school. My grade went downhill. No one has effected me emotionally since him. I think maybe because I have learned to build walls around me to protect my feelings.

In my parents generation love was about getting married and learning to love the person you married. In my generation love is about finding someone you are compatible with. I see my parents relationship. There is a lot of miscommunication.

I am not sure how I know when I find the love of my life. What I know is a combination of seeing my parents relationship and from TV and books. I have read some poems on love in English Literature class. They really romanticized it. Maybe that's my expectation of it?

Love is:
- caring for someone
- loving them unconditionally for the rest of your and their lives
- learn to communicate and trust them
- understanding one another
- don't let trivia things get in the way
- walking in the park holding hands when you are 85 years old

I don't know if it is something that will hit me quickly or something I will learn to do. Maybe I will be all giddy when I find the person? I will be all nervous to see them all the time. I would want to spend all my time with them. They are easy to get along with. I don't have eyes for anyone else. They are there to change me to become a better person. It is the person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. They make me feel good inside and out.

Day 85: My first writing class

I was very excited to attend my first writing class. I didn't know what to expect. It is held at Bonsor Community Complex in an art room. My teacher is a very young black lady. She is very passionate about writing. There are only 7 students in the class, including myself. Two of them have taken other courses with this teacher previously. Three of them are currently writers. One guy has written 3 novels. The idea for this class is to get you into writing. She gives us various exercise to write. After we finish writing, we can share our stories. There are no right or wrong answers. This class provides a safe and supportive environment for writers / would be writers. One of the exercises is 10 minute writing. Each of us had to write three ideas / topics and write it on a piece of paper. She then put all the ideas in a bag. Shook it up. Then she picked one topic. We can write anything we want about that topic. We can write a story, a poem or a song. She gave us 10 mins to write. I am used to typing. I type faster than I write. In 10 minutes, I can't write vey much because my hands aren't used to writing with a pen and paper.

To whoever reads this post, I would like you to help me with my writing. You can suggest topics about anything (PG 13 rated). Then I will write my next post on that topic. I will do what I did in class. I will just write and not worry about grammar or editing it. I will try to make a 15 minute assignment.

Day 84: Relaxing Sunday

Sundays are usually relaxing days for me. Some Sundays relaxing means just chilling at home and not doing anything. Today was about spending time with family and friends.

I went with my friend to eat lunch and go shopping. He originally wanted to go to Twisted Fork for brunch. We went there and there was a line up out the door. The hostess said the wait is about 30 minutes. My friend and I got hungry and decided not to wait anymore. We ended up going across the street to The Edge Restaurant in the Chateau Granville Hotel. They renovated it and it looks fantastic. There are two parts to the restaurant: the dining area and the lounge. My friend wanted to watch the football game so we sat in the lounge area. My friend sat on a leather chair and I sat on a leather couch. It was just so relaxing to just sit and eat brunch. We ordered an eggs benedict and another dish which was like an omelet in a mini frying pan. The eggs benebict was served with red potatoes cut in half. The 'omelet' was served with toast. We shared both dishes and it was perfect for me. I wasn't overstuffed and wasn't hungry. We walked down Granville St to grab a Starbucks. Our first stop was H&M. I got a gift certificate for my birthday last year to H&M. I finally got a chance to spend it today. I have been to H&M before but never found anything. Today I found some new sweaters and a dress. I can't wait to wear them! I am also in search for a Wii and a new digital camera. We went to Future Shop and London Drugs. I also needed new earbuds for my IPOD. We stopped at HMV for those.

Tonight my family went to my aunt's house for a small get together. It was great! My aunt made turkey, mashed potatoes and Chinese dishes. But turkey on Nov 1! It isn't just for Thanksgiving or Christmas, it's for anytime of the year. My cousin's daughter never had hard alcohol before. My cousin started getting her to taste vodka and Hypotic. I got her to taste SOHO. Three of us took a shot of tequila. I'm not sure if she liked it or not. Once we finished the drinks, we went downstairs to watch the Canucks whipped the Avalanche's butt.

Day 83: Halloween

There are lots of events happening in and around Vancouver. My friends went to the Dunbar haunted house (http://www.dunbarhauntedhouse.com/) and PNE Fright Nightss (http://www.pne.ca/fright-nights/). I refused to go because I get scared easily and I didn't want to pay to get scared. Tonight I went to my friend's potluck dinner / halloween party. A friend of mine is trying to get me to go to Potters House of Horror in Surrey (http://www.pottershouseofhorrors.com/) next year.

I have found that halloween has become another commercialized holiday. There are so many items you can buy. Some people really go all out and decorate their houses. Some don't do anything and are not in the holiday spirit. It's a time for the bars to charge exuberant amounts of money for 'cover charge.'

Halloween is an opportunity for you to be someone else for one day. A man can dress up as a woman and not be called a cross dresser. You can be a superhero for a day. Women can dress up as a sexy nurse or French maid and not be called a slut. It takes alot of time and effort to plan a good costume. It would only be worth it if lots of people will be able to admire my great costume to make the effort worth it.

Day 82: One month till my birthday

Time is ticking. One more month till I am one year older. Is this something I should be worried about? What lies ahead for me? Is this an age I should celebrate? Last year I decided not to have a birthday party. My bf, at that time, threw me a surprise dinner. He didn't know all my friends. He only invited the few friends of mine that he met. I feel bad because my other friends weren't invited. I couldn't invite them because I didn't know about the dinner.

After my next birthday, I would like to accomplish more. I bought two more brain games for my DS. I want to play those games to hopefully work on improving my memory and regenerating my brain cells. I need to re look at my bucket list. I need to see what I have accomplished and what I need to work on.

I don't think I am ready to be one year older yet. I have done a lot this year. But there never seems to be enough time for me.

Day 81: Swimming

I think swimming is a great skill to have. I have been swimming 'illiterate' for many many years. I have finally got the realization that I should learn to swim. It is never too late to learn. I chose to take lessons at Killarney Community Pool because it is affordable, it is close to my house, and it has classes on the nights I am available.

The level 1 class I am in is only 12 classes. The last class is on Thurs, Nov 19. My instructor is a younger asian gal. She does go step by step and watches me to make sure I am doing it right. Everytime she teachs us something new I look at her like she is weird. I have a look like 'you are crazy and I will never be able to do that'. I try to do what she taught us and I manage to learn it. My class is actually a level 1 and level 2 class. She spends some time with the level 1 students then she spends some time with the level 2 students. In my level 1 class, there is only 4 students (including me). In the level two class there are 5 students. There is me, a larger older darker skinned women and 2 middle aged philipino ladies. One lady doesn't show up all the time.

Today she told us to spend some time practicing on our side glides with a float board. The goal for the end of class is to side glide on both sides without a float board. Our lessons are taught in shallow water. We can just stand in the water if we think we are drowning. We had to practise our back float with flipping before our side glides. I went back and forth a few times in the pool and got tired. By the end of the 45 mins of my lessons, I am totally pooped.

When I get home, I can't go to bed right away. I have to wash my bathing suit and my towel. I also finish blow drying my hair. I also take some time to write on my blog before I go to bed.

Day 80: Halloween Cake

I just finished making a halloween cake. It's not the best in the world. But it's the best I can do tonight. I have spent a few hours on it. My hands are tired from kneading the marzipan. I had to knead the color into the marzipan. The cake itself is probably the best I have made. I forgot where I put my cake mix so I made the cake from scratch. It's a chocolate cake with berry filling in the middle. There is a lot of berry filling. I made the cake the other day and froze it. This is only 1/3 of the cake. I may make the other 2/3 of the cake if I have time later this week. I started making the pumpkins first. I dyied the marzipan orange then rolled them into little balls. I have fondant cutters (similar to cookie cutters) in different shapes, sizes and letters. I then cut the little eyes and mouth for pumpkins. After the pumpkins were done, I made the letters. The letters were a challenge. Because they are so small, it is easily ruined. The 'p' cutter was a pain the ass. The marzipan wouldn't come out of the cutter properly. I improvised and used a number instead to make the 'p'. The green background is actually made from two rolled out sheets. Because this is my first time working with marzipan, I should've rolled the sheet into one big sheet instead of cutting it into half. I didn't do a good job of fixing the 'seams'. I just hope my co-work enjoy my hard work and effort.

Day 79: Geoff and Teresa's Wedding

My friend Geoff just got married to a very nice gal name Teresa. Their wedding took place on Sunday, October 25. I haven't been to many Sunday weddings. I get Sundays off and when he asked for some helping hands, I was able to help. I carpooled with my cousin, who is also his friend, to the wedding. He asked us to be there at 3pm to help set up. He did have a list of helpers and their duties. We got there at 3pm and Geoff was running late. His mom had most of the items that needed to be distributed or assembled. By the time Geoff and his mom arrived, there were many helping hands. We all helped with whatever we could. We didn't follow the list that Geoff made, but everything got done. It was a good opportunity to mingle with some of his friends that I didn't know.

The ceremony was held right before the dinner. I think that is a great idea. It is all in one place and no one has to be transported anywhere. They had a decorated wedding arch where they said their vows. They had a maid of honour and a best man. The ceremony started pretty much when all their 90 guests arrived. It is the smallest wedding I have been to. All the other weddings I have attended are from 200 - 500 people. The ceremony was only about 15 minutes long.

After the ceremony, the banquet dinner began. It was the 10 course Chinese banquet dinner, which included lobster, abalone, chicken, fish, rice, noodles, and red bean soup. Between the courses there are various activities. Geoff, his best man and the maid of honour made a speech. There was open mic. Geoff's cousin came up to the mic and reminded everyone that Geoff use to break dance when he was younger and got him on the dance floor to dance his moves again. I really wanted to see him break dance. But he said he isn't in the same shape as he was when he was younger.

It wasn't hard to make them kiss. All we had to do was clan the chopsticks againest something. Once the bride and groom heard that, they got up and kissed. Some weddings I have been to make it really hard for the bride and groom to kiss. Sometimes you have to answer a skill testing question about the bride or the groom or show them how's it done before they kiss.

One thing that made Geoff and Teresa's wedding unique was that they had a photo op with the bride and the groom before dinner was finished. Whoever wanted to take a picture with them, just had to go up and pose with them. It was fun. Ok, my table was considered the 'rowdy' table. I think that was just a rumour. Anyways, my friends and I went up there and took a normal picture then we took a fun picture (the one posted above). Of course I brought my camera. I took about 120 pictures that night.

After all the pictures and posing, there was dancing. It was no suprise Geoff, the dancer, had dancing at his wedding. It was fun to just get our groove on. At about 10pm, my cousin and I were getting tired. Geoff asked us to stay a few more minutes to help them tear down. We were more than happy to help tear down.

Congratulations Geoff and Teresa!

Day 78: The Market at Shangri La

The last dinner for my dining club was at The Market at Shangri La. We went on Friday, October 23. The reservation was for 6 pm, which is earlier than my usual time of 7 pm. I had 10 people confirmed for dinner. The restaurant gave us the private room which holds 10 people. We sat at a round table. The only thing that was missing was the lazy susan. The room was very simple. It didn't have any special decor or paintings. It has a very nice and elaborate chandelier. One side of the room has floor to ceiling windows.

Five of us shared a few appies. We shared tuna tartare, beef carpaccio pizza and 2 foie gras brulee. The tuna tartare and carpaccio pizza were very tasty. I don't think I appreciate foie gras yet. The foie gras was too salty for me. Some of the entrees don't include side dishes which included the one I ordered, the soy glazed short ribs. It looked like a steak. It was so soft and juicy. There were no bones. When I usually order short ribs, its flat with small pieces of ribs. It was served with apple, jalepeno puree and rosemary crumbs. The jalepeno taste wasn't that evident. We also shared several side dishes; grilled broccoli rabe, sauteed spinach and basil and roasted mushrooms with garlic and jalepeno. The mushrooms were cut the same size as the garlic. It was very easy to pick a piece of garlic instead of a mushroom. I ended my meal with some dessesrt. I shared the warm chocolate cake with 2 other gals. It was so soft and it was a great way to end a meal.

Day 77: Murder Mystery Night

I have never been to a murder mystery night before. I didn't know what to expect. It was held at my friend's house. Once everyone got there at about 7 pm my friend, the host, told us the agenda for the nite. There were nine people that attended. Everyone had a character to play. It was held in Hawaii. All the characters are people that you would find in Hawaii. I played the hotel manager. There was a scuba diver, a surfer, an agent, a golfer, a tour guide, a hula dancer, and a pineapple farmer. There also was the older brother. The goal was to find out who killed Stuart Murdoch and why.

It was a potluck dinner. I brought KFC. There was sushi, veggies and dip, fruit and whipped cream, fried rice, and dessert. The speciality that night was meat fondue. There were a variety of different sushi rolls. The veggies included tomatoes, mushrooms, and celery. The fruits included bananas, melon, apples and strawberries. The whipped cream was delicious. Dessert was cupcakes decorated with Halloween theme (spiders, ghosts and jack o lanterns) and fruit tarts. The hosts were being adventerous with trying the meat fondue. It was their first time. It was strips of beef and you use one of the forks and dip it in heated oil to cook the beef. You just have to leave it in there for about a minute and voila! It's ready. They had a seeded mustard sauce as a dipping sauce for the beef. I don't usually like mustard but the beef with the mustard sauce was delicious.

After dinner, the goal was to find clues that were hidden around the place. Once you found one clue, it would lead you to the next clue. The clues were strategically hidden. I formed an alliance with one of my friends. We were the first ones to find most of the clues. Once we got to the last clue, it was very difficult for us. Another person found the last clue. They had to guess who killed Stuart and why. If they got it correct, they got a prize. The person who found the clue was Stuart's older brother. Stuart was dating the hula dancer and the tour guide. The hula dancer is the daughter of the pineappler farmer. It was the pineapple farmer who killed Stuart by giving him pineapples. Stuart was allergic to pineapples. Stuart's older brother guessed it correctly and won the prize.

It was an absolutely fantastic fun nite!