Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Day 116: 'You just know when you love someone'

The first time someone told me this it was 12 years ago. I was confused by this comment (apparently I get confused quite easily, so this isn't a surprise). How do you 'just know'? I couldn't ask her more about that because we were at work and it was hard to have that kind of conversation. From then on, it was a journey to figure out how you 'just know'. Do you meet someone for 15mins and know? Do you hang out with someone after a few dates and then you know? Do you know after you first kiss them? When is the point when you realize you are in love with them?

In my parents generation it was arranged marriages. They learned to love each other. Divorce wasn't/isn't in their vocab. It was/is very shunned upon. You just have to deal with each other's idiosyncrasies. You play the hand you are dealt.

Fast forward 30 years later in Canada. I have a choice on who to marry. There are so many different nationalities of men to choose from. I have dated younger guys and older guys. I have always ended up with guys who aren't right for me. Once little things start to get on my nerves, I know it's time to ditch him. Once I don't make time for him anymore, it's time to split up.

I can't say I've ever been in love before. I can just imagine how love will be like (maybe it's my high hopes and dreams what love will be like). When you see each other, there is feeling of elation. When you hold hands or cuddle with each other, there is a feeling of comfort and relaxation. Nothing matters in this world except you two. When you kiss, you have the sense of being connected to each other. The feelings intensify with the combination of kissing, cuddling and holding hands. You don't want the day to end. You just wish time can stand still for awhile so you can savour the moment just a bit longer. When the person leaves, you are counting down till the next time you see each other. When they are not with you, you replay all the joyous moments together and wishing they are in your arms. You are looking forward to trying new things together. It is a person that I would want to walk in the park with when I'm old and grey.

Maybe you 'just know' when you get that feeling in your heart?

1 comment:

  1. Love just happens without warrant or warning, without reason. Sometimes it makes no sense at all. On paper things may not look right, or in plain black and white, but when you love someone, or rather when love has found you, it just is. I have found it and I honestly knew at first glance, at first touch. There will be no one else in the room, no one else for miles. In their arms you are home, but to a home you've never known before. In their arms, in their eyes, you are not only complete or more yourself, you are finally a part of someone else.

    I do not fall or give true love easily, I am a cynic, an academic, and conservative in morals, and when a date arrives or a man smiles I do not quiver or become restless and most I shrug off. Yet, in that one instance, I knew. I knew I wanted to be with him for as long as possible, I knew that he was all I could want.

    But truthfully the trick is, if you envision your dream for yourself, the biggest dream you could ever think of, and they aren't there, that dream becomes worthless. If you know that, then you have found the one because they are your everything if everything you could ever want becomes insufficient.

    ReplyDelete