Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Day 86: Love

What is love? It is a very hard question for me to answer. It is very auspicious. It is intangible. I think I have been in love only once in my life. It was my very first boyfriend. He broke my heart and I was crying for days, even months. I was so heart broken that it effected other aspects of my life. I wasn't concentrating on school. My grade went downhill. No one has effected me emotionally since him. I think maybe because I have learned to build walls around me to protect my feelings.

In my parents generation love was about getting married and learning to love the person you married. In my generation love is about finding someone you are compatible with. I see my parents relationship. There is a lot of miscommunication.

I am not sure how I know when I find the love of my life. What I know is a combination of seeing my parents relationship and from TV and books. I have read some poems on love in English Literature class. They really romanticized it. Maybe that's my expectation of it?

Love is:
- caring for someone
- loving them unconditionally for the rest of your and their lives
- learn to communicate and trust them
- understanding one another
- don't let trivia things get in the way
- walking in the park holding hands when you are 85 years old

I don't know if it is something that will hit me quickly or something I will learn to do. Maybe I will be all giddy when I find the person? I will be all nervous to see them all the time. I would want to spend all my time with them. They are easy to get along with. I don't have eyes for anyone else. They are there to change me to become a better person. It is the person that I would want to spend the rest of my life with. They make me feel good inside and out.

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