Day 37: Sense of Belonging

Do you ever feel like you don't belong?

Sense of belonging is the third tier in Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs. It goes after physiological (food, water, sleep, etc) and safety (security of body, employment, resources, etc). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mazlow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg) I think we all yearn for it on some level. Some people more than others. Maybe that's why people join gangs / organizations / associations. I know its bad to put gangs in the same category as organizations. But I think the underlying reason is the same: you want to belong to a group (something bigger than youself). I used to belong to many organizations / associations. It gave me a sense of focus and security. I don't belong to those organizations / associations anymore. It is maybe because my focus is on a different direction. I may look into other organizations / associations to join.

When I was in elementary and secondary school, sense of belonging was about being popular. It was also about being associated with someone popular. I don't think I was popular at all in school. I went to a different school in grade 5 because we moved neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with any of the 'groups'. In high school, I hung out with a few 'groups'. By grade 12 I was in the annual club and was hanging with my two buddies. The annual club was something that got me to interact with more students in the school. My two friends were super smarter than me. (They were 'A' students and I surely wasn't. I almost failed high school.). I felt left out sometimes on their conversations because they were in a different program than me. I didn't like the feeling of being left out or pushed out of a 'group'.

As I grew older and became more mature, I became more accepting of people. I have friends from all walks of life. I don't think I have a large group of close friends. I have a large group of acquintances. I don't care about being popular anymore. I am me. I have come to accept that popular isn't the way to go. There are a wide range of people. They all have something to offer. I belong to my family. I feel a sense of belonging with my co workers. I have a sense of belonging with my softball pals.