I have dealt with ex's who have insecurities. I need a confident guy / man that will not be insecure.
I have more guy friends than girl friends. Some of my ex's have a problem with that. One guy I dated I even told him, when we started dating, that I have more guy friends than girl friends. He originally said he was fine with that. Then he broke up with me and one of the reasons he broke up with me was because he couldn't handle that I had more guy friends than girl friends. Some ex's had a problem with me hanging out with my guy friends. They are only my friends. I have known them for years. I have met them and hung out with them much longer than my bf. You don't expect me to kill my friendship with my guy friends because I am dating a guy that doesn't like me hanging out with them.
In new relationships I am insecure about where the relationship is going. In the first three months, I think the relationship can go either way. It's a time where I think both parties are testing the waters with potential mates. I am very insecure during this time because it's like a competition. I have to suck it up if he picks another woman over me.
My last ex didn't show me his place until a year into the relationship. I was insecure about what his life was about. Was he seeing someone else? Was he hiding something from me? It made me more curious on what his place was like. He said it was messy and small and didn't want to show me. If he forgot something at his place, we would be parked outside and I would wait in the car. He never invited me in. It was kinda sketchy and weird.
He also pretended to be me on my FB and MSN on a few occasions. He was insecure about what I was doing with guys on my MSN / FB list. He told them to not talk to me anymore. It was his way of shooing them out of my life. I think he was insecure about himself and maybe thought I would be easily persuaded to jump to another relationship.
He didn't tell me his age. He was insecure about my reaction on his age. What a great way to start a relationship is to lie about your age! He thought I wouldn't date him anymore if I found out his real age. He was 18 years older than me. Yes, I know that is much older than me.
Another ex wanted me to call him constantly so he would know where I was and where I was going to be. He was having doubts about our relationship. He wanted to know my whereabouts to make sure I wasn't cheating on him.
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You're like me. I've always had a lot of guy friends. In fact when I met my husband, my best friend was a guy. It didn't bother him a bit, cause his best friend was a girl. I hope you find the perfect guy for you Lisa. One who's sure of himself and loves you for who you are and trusts you in every way.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best in your journey for love. Believe me, I know how much it can truly suck.
Everyone gets insecure even the most confident man will have doubt in some point of his life.
ReplyDeleteI think what you are referring to is trust. A confident man may be confident in himself and still can't trust others. Trust and confidence are two different things.
I understand perfectly why your ex's acted the way they did. I trusted my girlfriend to be faithful to me. She had a LOT of guy friends and she said she would NEVER cheat on me. Well, she cheated on me five months into the relationship even though I gave her the benefit of the doubt and all the trust I could give her.
I told myself I would never be that jealous guy or the suspicious guy. Trust is something that can be broken at any time by ANYONE regardless of sex or confidence level.