No inspirational message today. This posting today is on how much time I spend on Facebook and why I like it so much.
I started getting bombarded with invites from my friends to join Facebook. I was wondering what the hype was all about. I am a late adapter. I wait till many of my friends are doing something before I jump on the bandwagon. I joined Facebook and started exploring what it has to offer me.
Ok, I admit it. I am a bit addicted to Facebook. I always have to check my Facebook. I think it's the voyeur in me. I just want to read everyone status updates. Some of them are interesting with videos or inspiring quotes. Some are boring with an update with what they are doing in their life at this moment (ie. going to get groceries at the store right now, I'm watching TV, what is good to watch?, etc) The updates that are most annoying to me are the Farmville and Mafia Wars (sorry to anyone who are intensely involved in those games). The updates take up too much space. I don't play those games so I don't know what they are about. I heard the games are addictive once you start playing. I better not start playing them or else I will have no social life.
Facebook is a great way to connect with long lost friends and relatives. I have connected with people from my high school and now it is super easy to communicate with them. I have relatives on there that I otherwise wouldn't have connected with.
The features I use the most are the Photos and Events tabs. It is super easy to send out invites to many people with Facebook. I have my dining club group and when I send out an invite all I have to do is check a box and the message gets sent to them. My photos I can just tag my friends instead of emailing them a link or a bunch of pictures. My friends also post their pictures on there and it is easy for me to view them.
I spend too much time procrastinating on there. If I am bored, I will do the silly quizzes on there. Do I really need to know when I will die? I did that quiz and it says I will die at the end of this year. It was too depressing to publish on my profile. I saw my ideal house by doing one of those quizzes. Do I really want to know the initials of the love of my life? hmmmm..not sure how accurate the results are. Maybe it's just better for me to find out myself?
Ok, time to finish up this blog and go back on Facebook!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Day 59: My Memory
Can you say you have an amazing memory? I can't say I do. I do remember what a great summer I had and all the things I have done.
I have a list of blog topics on my phone to help me decide what to write so I don't have to think about a topic. One of the topics was 'memory loss'. I had forgotten what I had written about my memory.
My sister doesn't have a good memory either. She bought a Dummies book at Target on 'how to improve your memory'. I asked her where the book was so I can read it. Her reply 'I don't remember where I put it'. Later on that week, I accidentally found the book. It was tucked away in a box beside where she usually put her house keys.
A few days ago I was cleaning my bathroom and I saw my BMW mug. I didn't want it in the bathroom anymore and I asked my parents if they wanted it in the bathroom. My mom said every time she sees that mug it reminded her of when my sister asked if she can have that mug and I refused giving it to her. My sister drives a BMW and she really likes the mug. My mom said that my sister asked me if she can have the mug and my reply was that it was sentimental to me because my friend gave it to me. I don't have any recollection of that conversation happening. If my sister asked me if she can have the mug, I would give it to her. My friend did give me the mug years ago but it doesn't hold that much sentimental value to me. After my mom told me about that conversation, I really got worried. Maybe it is my mom's memory that is going? Maybe that conversation between my sister and I didn't really happen but she thinks it did? Maybe I have a serious memory problem?
My ex friend volunteers with an old man once a week. By the third time of me asking her what the name of the old man was, she was giving me a weird look. She said I have asked her twice before already. I have no recollection of asking her the previous two time of the old man's name.
I have a list of blog topics on my phone to help me decide what to write so I don't have to think about a topic. One of the topics was 'memory loss'. I had forgotten what I had written about my memory.
My sister doesn't have a good memory either. She bought a Dummies book at Target on 'how to improve your memory'. I asked her where the book was so I can read it. Her reply 'I don't remember where I put it'. Later on that week, I accidentally found the book. It was tucked away in a box beside where she usually put her house keys.
A few days ago I was cleaning my bathroom and I saw my BMW mug. I didn't want it in the bathroom anymore and I asked my parents if they wanted it in the bathroom. My mom said every time she sees that mug it reminded her of when my sister asked if she can have that mug and I refused giving it to her. My sister drives a BMW and she really likes the mug. My mom said that my sister asked me if she can have the mug and my reply was that it was sentimental to me because my friend gave it to me. I don't have any recollection of that conversation happening. If my sister asked me if she can have the mug, I would give it to her. My friend did give me the mug years ago but it doesn't hold that much sentimental value to me. After my mom told me about that conversation, I really got worried. Maybe it is my mom's memory that is going? Maybe that conversation between my sister and I didn't really happen but she thinks it did? Maybe I have a serious memory problem?
My ex friend volunteers with an old man once a week. By the third time of me asking her what the name of the old man was, she was giving me a weird look. She said I have asked her twice before already. I have no recollection of asking her the previous two time of the old man's name.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Day 58: Integrity
"Integrity is consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcome." - Wikipedia
I admire people who have integrity. It is about doing what you say. In my eyes, actions speak louder than words. Integrity is about keeping my word. If I tell someone I will do something, I will do it. If I can't fulfill my promise, I will let them know. I believe that is the right thing to do. Integrity is similar to consideration and reliability.
My first experience was 12 years ago when I dated this guy who wanted to be a stuntman. I thought 'wow! what an interesting choice of profession!' I didn't know anyone who wanted to become a stuntman. When I met him, he said he wanted to go to school to learn stunts. During the 6 months we were together, he never did anything to pursue becoming a stuntman. It was all talk. He was showing me his lack of integrity. Why did he do that? Maybe to impress me? After that, I know that when guys try to impress me with something I know to not fully believe them. It's all talk to me until they take action.
My latest experience was with my ex. We lived together in an apartment in downtown. My ex and the building manager got along. My ex, a chef, promised the building manager that he would make him jumbo pretzels to give to his girlfriend. We lived there for 6 months. Did he ever make and give the building manager the pretzels? Nope! In the 6 months, he had plenty of time to learn to make the pretzels and give it to the building manager. I don't want to make it seem like I'm analyzing something petty. It is the principle that is in question. If the chef just made the pretzels and gave it to the building manager, then the manager and I would be impressed. But no, he always talked about it and never did anything about it. Needless to say, neither the building manager nor I were impressed.
I admire people who have integrity. It is about doing what you say. In my eyes, actions speak louder than words. Integrity is about keeping my word. If I tell someone I will do something, I will do it. If I can't fulfill my promise, I will let them know. I believe that is the right thing to do. Integrity is similar to consideration and reliability.
My first experience was 12 years ago when I dated this guy who wanted to be a stuntman. I thought 'wow! what an interesting choice of profession!' I didn't know anyone who wanted to become a stuntman. When I met him, he said he wanted to go to school to learn stunts. During the 6 months we were together, he never did anything to pursue becoming a stuntman. It was all talk. He was showing me his lack of integrity. Why did he do that? Maybe to impress me? After that, I know that when guys try to impress me with something I know to not fully believe them. It's all talk to me until they take action.
My latest experience was with my ex. We lived together in an apartment in downtown. My ex and the building manager got along. My ex, a chef, promised the building manager that he would make him jumbo pretzels to give to his girlfriend. We lived there for 6 months. Did he ever make and give the building manager the pretzels? Nope! In the 6 months, he had plenty of time to learn to make the pretzels and give it to the building manager. I don't want to make it seem like I'm analyzing something petty. It is the principle that is in question. If the chef just made the pretzels and gave it to the building manager, then the manager and I would be impressed. But no, he always talked about it and never did anything about it. Needless to say, neither the building manager nor I were impressed.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Day 57: Social Life
I have a fairly good social life. I have a wide circle of friends. My social life consists of going out for dinners, watching movies and going to social gatherings, etc, etc...
When I worked at the casino, a few years ago, I worked the night shift. Most of my friends are 9 - 5'ers. I was heading to work when they were coming home from work. I had that shift for the 10 months I was working there. That was 10 months of almost being a hermit. I didn't have much of a social life. I couldn't do much on Friday and Saturday nites because I was working.
I created my dining club because my social life was going downhill. I needed to reconnect with my friends. I didn't see some of them for the whole time I worked at the casino. I was thinking while I was reconnecting with old friends, I can also make new friends. My friends who came to the dinners also bring their friends. My ex said if I didn't talk to any of my friends in the last 8 months, then they aren't my friend. That motivated me even more to try to reconnect with my friends.
My ex was a bit older than me. He hung out with his friend a handful of times during the year and 3 months we were together. I met one of his friends during the time we were together. I find it kinda weird that he didn't hang out with his friends. He said because most of his friends are married and have kids, they don't have much time for him. Was he lonely? Did he have any friends? Was he embarrassed that he was dating me? To me, he didn't have any friends. I don't want to be with anyone that is that lonely or that weird.
Is that too much to ask for to find someone who has a healthy social life and that accepts my social life?
When I worked at the casino, a few years ago, I worked the night shift. Most of my friends are 9 - 5'ers. I was heading to work when they were coming home from work. I had that shift for the 10 months I was working there. That was 10 months of almost being a hermit. I didn't have much of a social life. I couldn't do much on Friday and Saturday nites because I was working.
I created my dining club because my social life was going downhill. I needed to reconnect with my friends. I didn't see some of them for the whole time I worked at the casino. I was thinking while I was reconnecting with old friends, I can also make new friends. My friends who came to the dinners also bring their friends. My ex said if I didn't talk to any of my friends in the last 8 months, then they aren't my friend. That motivated me even more to try to reconnect with my friends.
My ex was a bit older than me. He hung out with his friend a handful of times during the year and 3 months we were together. I met one of his friends during the time we were together. I find it kinda weird that he didn't hang out with his friends. He said because most of his friends are married and have kids, they don't have much time for him. Was he lonely? Did he have any friends? Was he embarrassed that he was dating me? To me, he didn't have any friends. I don't want to be with anyone that is that lonely or that weird.
Is that too much to ask for to find someone who has a healthy social life and that accepts my social life?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Day 56: Who's running your life?
I am running my own life. It has taken me many years to get here. I make my own choices with what I do. I have to deal with the consequences if I make bad choices. I am the driver of my car. I take it where I want to go. There are no back seat drivers in my car.
When I was younger, my parents were running my life. They fed and took care of me. They made choices for me because I was too young to make them myself. They decided what I ate, when I ate, where I ate and what I wore.
In my teenage years, I was very easily influenced by my peers. I think I was a follower in high school. If my friend wanted to skip class to go to McDonald's, I would follow. Whatever I think was 'cool clothes or hairstyles', I wanted to emulate it. I don't think I did a good job. I look back at my pictures where I thought I was 'cool' and I was so uncool. I try to hide those pictures as much as possible.
In my 20's, it was about learning and appreciating who I am. I am not emulating anyone. I think also there isn't that regular social circle to easily influence me. I went to school and work at various places. I think that helped. I was exposed to various types of people.
In my 30's (where I still am), I am learning to experience life to the fullest. I have learned that whatever I have done when I was younger, I should not let that effect my life negatively. I should take those experiences and see what I can learn from them. I know I have about 46 years left in my life. Am I going to spend that time being mad at the world and living a life full of regrets? Or do I want to live it to my fullest potential?
I am me. I am running my life. I wear clothes that I like and are comfortable to me. No one is dictating my style in clothing. My outfit I decide on is a reflection on how I am feeling. My hairstyle is low maintenance. I am growing it long to eventually donate it.
When I was younger, my parents were running my life. They fed and took care of me. They made choices for me because I was too young to make them myself. They decided what I ate, when I ate, where I ate and what I wore.
In my teenage years, I was very easily influenced by my peers. I think I was a follower in high school. If my friend wanted to skip class to go to McDonald's, I would follow. Whatever I think was 'cool clothes or hairstyles', I wanted to emulate it. I don't think I did a good job. I look back at my pictures where I thought I was 'cool' and I was so uncool. I try to hide those pictures as much as possible.
In my 20's, it was about learning and appreciating who I am. I am not emulating anyone. I think also there isn't that regular social circle to easily influence me. I went to school and work at various places. I think that helped. I was exposed to various types of people.
In my 30's (where I still am), I am learning to experience life to the fullest. I have learned that whatever I have done when I was younger, I should not let that effect my life negatively. I should take those experiences and see what I can learn from them. I know I have about 46 years left in my life. Am I going to spend that time being mad at the world and living a life full of regrets? Or do I want to live it to my fullest potential?
I am me. I am running my life. I wear clothes that I like and are comfortable to me. No one is dictating my style in clothing. My outfit I decide on is a reflection on how I am feeling. My hairstyle is low maintenance. I am growing it long to eventually donate it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Day 55: Discipline
I never really thought that I was a disciplined person. I quit Chinese school after a few lessons when I was young. My parents never made me go back. I never was in any sports or played any instruments when I was young to teach me any discipline. (I heard that team sports and learning to play instruments teach you discipline.) Now since I am older, I have to teach myself discipline. It is really hard to teach myself. I can get a life coach or something to help guide me. I may look into that soon. I want to see how much discipline I can teach myself first before I hire a life coach. A reason it's hard to discipline myself is that there are so many distractions. My computer and the TV are the biggest culprits. Also it is so easy to say 'I'm too lazy' or 'I don't have time.'
Today after work I went rollerblading by myself again. I went around the seawall by Science World for about 45 minutes. It isn't a long time but it's one step closer to excelling at rollerblading (bucket list #3). The first time I went rollerblading for 45 mins myself I didn't go very far because I wasn't very good at it. The last two times I rollerbladed for a few hours. I have improved because I noticed that I went further this time. I had to discipline myself to go blading today. It was such a beautiful day. I could've easily just chilled out on a bench by Science World and not go blading. I could've said it would've been too much effort to put on my blades. I could've said I was hungry and tired from work. When I started blading, I noticed that I was quite tired from work. I pushed myself to practice. I have to learn to practice in all different situations/scenerios. How else am I going to get better? I have endless excuses. At my age, who else is going to discipline me? If it is something what I want, then I better work at it.
Today after work I went rollerblading by myself again. I went around the seawall by Science World for about 45 minutes. It isn't a long time but it's one step closer to excelling at rollerblading (bucket list #3). The first time I went rollerblading for 45 mins myself I didn't go very far because I wasn't very good at it. The last two times I rollerbladed for a few hours. I have improved because I noticed that I went further this time. I had to discipline myself to go blading today. It was such a beautiful day. I could've easily just chilled out on a bench by Science World and not go blading. I could've said it would've been too much effort to put on my blades. I could've said I was hungry and tired from work. When I started blading, I noticed that I was quite tired from work. I pushed myself to practice. I have to learn to practice in all different situations/scenerios. How else am I going to get better? I have endless excuses. At my age, who else is going to discipline me? If it is something what I want, then I better work at it.
Monday, September 21, 2009
Day 54: Insecurities
I have dealt with ex's who have insecurities. I need a confident guy / man that will not be insecure.
I have more guy friends than girl friends. Some of my ex's have a problem with that. One guy I dated I even told him, when we started dating, that I have more guy friends than girl friends. He originally said he was fine with that. Then he broke up with me and one of the reasons he broke up with me was because he couldn't handle that I had more guy friends than girl friends. Some ex's had a problem with me hanging out with my guy friends. They are only my friends. I have known them for years. I have met them and hung out with them much longer than my bf. You don't expect me to kill my friendship with my guy friends because I am dating a guy that doesn't like me hanging out with them.
In new relationships I am insecure about where the relationship is going. In the first three months, I think the relationship can go either way. It's a time where I think both parties are testing the waters with potential mates. I am very insecure during this time because it's like a competition. I have to suck it up if he picks another woman over me.
My last ex didn't show me his place until a year into the relationship. I was insecure about what his life was about. Was he seeing someone else? Was he hiding something from me? It made me more curious on what his place was like. He said it was messy and small and didn't want to show me. If he forgot something at his place, we would be parked outside and I would wait in the car. He never invited me in. It was kinda sketchy and weird.
He also pretended to be me on my FB and MSN on a few occasions. He was insecure about what I was doing with guys on my MSN / FB list. He told them to not talk to me anymore. It was his way of shooing them out of my life. I think he was insecure about himself and maybe thought I would be easily persuaded to jump to another relationship.
He didn't tell me his age. He was insecure about my reaction on his age. What a great way to start a relationship is to lie about your age! He thought I wouldn't date him anymore if I found out his real age. He was 18 years older than me. Yes, I know that is much older than me.
Another ex wanted me to call him constantly so he would know where I was and where I was going to be. He was having doubts about our relationship. He wanted to know my whereabouts to make sure I wasn't cheating on him.
I have more guy friends than girl friends. Some of my ex's have a problem with that. One guy I dated I even told him, when we started dating, that I have more guy friends than girl friends. He originally said he was fine with that. Then he broke up with me and one of the reasons he broke up with me was because he couldn't handle that I had more guy friends than girl friends. Some ex's had a problem with me hanging out with my guy friends. They are only my friends. I have known them for years. I have met them and hung out with them much longer than my bf. You don't expect me to kill my friendship with my guy friends because I am dating a guy that doesn't like me hanging out with them.
In new relationships I am insecure about where the relationship is going. In the first three months, I think the relationship can go either way. It's a time where I think both parties are testing the waters with potential mates. I am very insecure during this time because it's like a competition. I have to suck it up if he picks another woman over me.
My last ex didn't show me his place until a year into the relationship. I was insecure about what his life was about. Was he seeing someone else? Was he hiding something from me? It made me more curious on what his place was like. He said it was messy and small and didn't want to show me. If he forgot something at his place, we would be parked outside and I would wait in the car. He never invited me in. It was kinda sketchy and weird.
He also pretended to be me on my FB and MSN on a few occasions. He was insecure about what I was doing with guys on my MSN / FB list. He told them to not talk to me anymore. It was his way of shooing them out of my life. I think he was insecure about himself and maybe thought I would be easily persuaded to jump to another relationship.
He didn't tell me his age. He was insecure about my reaction on his age. What a great way to start a relationship is to lie about your age! He thought I wouldn't date him anymore if I found out his real age. He was 18 years older than me. Yes, I know that is much older than me.
Another ex wanted me to call him constantly so he would know where I was and where I was going to be. He was having doubts about our relationship. He wanted to know my whereabouts to make sure I wasn't cheating on him.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Day 53: Making a difference
Does what I do make a difference?
I would like to know that I made a difference in someone's life. Will my spare change make a difference in the bum's life? Will my donation make a difference for the church / non profit organization? Will my volunteer hours make a difference in the child's life? I would like all the answers to be YES. In reality because the answers are 'maybe' or 'unsure' that is why I haven't made monetary donations or volunteer hours anywhere yet. I need to look into the cause and why I want to donate to that organization before I donate my money. I would like to see how and where my money goes if I donate to that organization. I think becoming a Big Sister will make a difference in someone's life. You have to commit one year and 3-5 hours a week to your little sister. I am sure if you volunteer for more than a year, you will see your little sister grow and see the difference you have made in her life.
My friend is a musician in Texas. He made a difference in someone's life and he didn't even know it. He meets alot of people everywhere he goes. One night at a bar he went to a table and hung out with them for awhile. He bought a round for everyone at the table. There was a girl that was going to commit suicide that night. (For reasons I don't know) She wanted that to be her last night with her friends. After meeting and hanging with my friend, she decided not to kill herself. To know that you saved someone's life would be an amazing feeling.
I write this blog every night (at least I try my hardest to). This is really a challenge for myself to see how disciplined I really I am. I write what is on my mind. I want to learn to write and express myself in writing. I decided that writing a blog would be a good way to start. I have had some feedback from my friends saying that I have inspired them to start a bucket list or to start something that they have always wanted to do or that they feel the connection between my posts and their lives. This is great for me to hear. It sounds like I am starting to inspire people. I would like to inspire as many people as I can.
I would like to know that I made a difference in someone's life. Will my spare change make a difference in the bum's life? Will my donation make a difference for the church / non profit organization? Will my volunteer hours make a difference in the child's life? I would like all the answers to be YES. In reality because the answers are 'maybe' or 'unsure' that is why I haven't made monetary donations or volunteer hours anywhere yet. I need to look into the cause and why I want to donate to that organization before I donate my money. I would like to see how and where my money goes if I donate to that organization. I think becoming a Big Sister will make a difference in someone's life. You have to commit one year and 3-5 hours a week to your little sister. I am sure if you volunteer for more than a year, you will see your little sister grow and see the difference you have made in her life.
My friend is a musician in Texas. He made a difference in someone's life and he didn't even know it. He meets alot of people everywhere he goes. One night at a bar he went to a table and hung out with them for awhile. He bought a round for everyone at the table. There was a girl that was going to commit suicide that night. (For reasons I don't know) She wanted that to be her last night with her friends. After meeting and hanging with my friend, she decided not to kill herself. To know that you saved someone's life would be an amazing feeling.
I write this blog every night (at least I try my hardest to). This is really a challenge for myself to see how disciplined I really I am. I write what is on my mind. I want to learn to write and express myself in writing. I decided that writing a blog would be a good way to start. I have had some feedback from my friends saying that I have inspired them to start a bucket list or to start something that they have always wanted to do or that they feel the connection between my posts and their lives. This is great for me to hear. It sounds like I am starting to inspire people. I would like to inspire as many people as I can.
Day 52: The little things in life
Do you appreciate the little things in life? Do you stop to smell the flowers?
Last year when I was in California I took a walk to the park with my niece and my nephew. The walk should only take about 20 minutes. We walked to the park on my nephew's time. He's 2 and he's still at a stage where everything is new to him. He would point out to me the purple flowers, the green flowers, the snail, the crack on the sidewalk and anything else his little eyes see. Our walk took us 45 minutes. Because he has no sense of time yet, he takes his time doing things. I learned from that walk that I should take the time to smell the flowers. When I walked by the purple flowers, I knew they were purple flowers. But did I take the time to appreciate them? I don't think so.
I didn't pay attention to my journey because I was too focused on getting to my destination. I have done that for years. Sometimes I got to my destination, sometimes I didn't. At times my journey got sidetracked and I ended up taking another journey. This past year I have realized that the journey is what life is about. The journey has the life lessons hidden in it. I have to slow my pace on my journey to smell the flowers.
Last year when I was in California I took a walk to the park with my niece and my nephew. The walk should only take about 20 minutes. We walked to the park on my nephew's time. He's 2 and he's still at a stage where everything is new to him. He would point out to me the purple flowers, the green flowers, the snail, the crack on the sidewalk and anything else his little eyes see. Our walk took us 45 minutes. Because he has no sense of time yet, he takes his time doing things. I learned from that walk that I should take the time to smell the flowers. When I walked by the purple flowers, I knew they were purple flowers. But did I take the time to appreciate them? I don't think so.
I didn't pay attention to my journey because I was too focused on getting to my destination. I have done that for years. Sometimes I got to my destination, sometimes I didn't. At times my journey got sidetracked and I ended up taking another journey. This past year I have realized that the journey is what life is about. The journey has the life lessons hidden in it. I have to slow my pace on my journey to smell the flowers.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Day 51: Confidence
I have mentioned this word a few times since I started my blog.
Day 42: My Values - My top 5 values now are happiness, honesty, trust, respect and confidence.
Day 41: Accomplishments - Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list.
Day 50: Recipe for Success - Once you have the mixture of practice and determination, add some confidence.
What is confidence? It is a trait in me that I am constantly improving on. It is a trait that will help me move forward in my life. It is about me speaking my mind on what I want. It is about me knowing what I want and going for it. It is about kicking the hurdles and being focused.
I have gone to school for many subjects / courses / programs. I think the problem is that when I am done school I don't have the confidence to find a job in that field. I may be scared and am comfortable on where I am. Maybe I was scared that what I learnt isn't enough to work in the field.
Confidence is one of my values because it is a trait that I would love to have and admire anyone that does have. Confidence shows that you are comfortable with yourself and your life.
In regards to my bucket list, achieving one item will give me confidence to move on to the next. It shows that I am able to learn something new. It shows that even when I am scared, I still stick with it and complete the item. It will take me small steps, one at a time, but hopefully one day I will complete my bucket list.
Day 42: My Values - My top 5 values now are happiness, honesty, trust, respect and confidence.
Day 41: Accomplishments - Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list.
Day 50: Recipe for Success - Once you have the mixture of practice and determination, add some confidence.
What is confidence? It is a trait in me that I am constantly improving on. It is a trait that will help me move forward in my life. It is about me speaking my mind on what I want. It is about me knowing what I want and going for it. It is about kicking the hurdles and being focused.
I have gone to school for many subjects / courses / programs. I think the problem is that when I am done school I don't have the confidence to find a job in that field. I may be scared and am comfortable on where I am. Maybe I was scared that what I learnt isn't enough to work in the field.
Confidence is one of my values because it is a trait that I would love to have and admire anyone that does have. Confidence shows that you are comfortable with yourself and your life.
In regards to my bucket list, achieving one item will give me confidence to move on to the next. It shows that I am able to learn something new. It shows that even when I am scared, I still stick with it and complete the item. It will take me small steps, one at a time, but hopefully one day I will complete my bucket list.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Day 50: Recipe for Success
Recipe for success:
1/3 - determination
1/3 - practice
1/3 - confidence
dash of luck
1) Start off with deciding what is your dream. what are you destined to you?
2) Secondly add some practice. This may take a short or long time, depending on how well you you do. They say practice makes perfect. Or you can skip this step if you are a prodigy.
3) Thirdly stir in some determination. It can be stirred in early on the recipe or later on. As long as it is stirred in, the recipe will work. If you are a prodigy, you don't have to add so much determination.
4) Once you have the mixture of practice and determination, add some confidence. This is the most important part. This will determine how far you will go in life with your dream.
5) With a dash of luck, you will be a mega star.
1/3 - determination
1/3 - practice
1/3 - confidence
dash of luck
1) Start off with deciding what is your dream. what are you destined to you?
2) Secondly add some practice. This may take a short or long time, depending on how well you you do. They say practice makes perfect. Or you can skip this step if you are a prodigy.
3) Thirdly stir in some determination. It can be stirred in early on the recipe or later on. As long as it is stirred in, the recipe will work. If you are a prodigy, you don't have to add so much determination.
4) Once you have the mixture of practice and determination, add some confidence. This is the most important part. This will determine how far you will go in life with your dream.
5) With a dash of luck, you will be a mega star.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Day 49: "I don't have time."
One of my famous lines is "I don't have time", right after "I'm too lazy." I've used it for many many years. I think that's why I haven't accomplished as much as I would like. Between work, school, hanging out with friends and watching TV, I felt I didn't have time to do much else. I didn't seem to have time to do anything. That was the way it was for me for many years. Seriously, was I that busy that I didn't have time to do anything?
This year I've decided to minimize my usage of that phrase. That phrase translates to "I don't want to do it." It's about prioritizing what's important. My priority wasn't about trying new things and new activities. It was about lounging around in my comfort zone and doing what I was comfortable with. It's so easy to sit at home and relax in front of the TV. I call it my 'relaxing time' also known as 'procrastinating time.'
This year I started my bucket list. My bucket list is my priority. I am making time to complete things off my list. For example, tonight I got off the couch to go to pilates (bucket list #14). It was refreshing to learn something new. It was a class of mostly women so it wasn't intimidating at all. The teacher taught at a slow pace and I managed to follow along. By the end of class, I was very relaxed.
I actually do have time!
This year I've decided to minimize my usage of that phrase. That phrase translates to "I don't want to do it." It's about prioritizing what's important. My priority wasn't about trying new things and new activities. It was about lounging around in my comfort zone and doing what I was comfortable with. It's so easy to sit at home and relax in front of the TV. I call it my 'relaxing time' also known as 'procrastinating time.'
This year I started my bucket list. My bucket list is my priority. I am making time to complete things off my list. For example, tonight I got off the couch to go to pilates (bucket list #14). It was refreshing to learn something new. It was a class of mostly women so it wasn't intimidating at all. The teacher taught at a slow pace and I managed to follow along. By the end of class, I was very relaxed.
I actually do have time!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Day 48: Being Thrifty
Free dessert. It has a good ring to it. My cousins and I went to a Chinese restaurant tonight and they offered us free dessert after our meal. We had our dinner and our tofu pudding but we still had room for the free dessert. It was free, we will take it.
I learned from my parents at a young age to be thrifty. It was while they were teaching me the value of money that they also taught me about being thrifty. I grew up in the ghetto part of Vancouver and my parents worked all the time to support us. They had to stretch every dollar they made. We played with what we had in our surroundings, no expensive toys. Shopping at Army and Navy was a lesson on money. If your $15 can be spent on a pair of shoes at Army and Navy and you see a similar pair elsewhere for $50, you really think about if its worth spending $50 on the pair of shoes. Of course you think about the quality of the shoe and depends on how often you wear the shoes.
I notice when I go shopping for clothes I'm very picky. I'm picky because I don't like spending alot of money on clothes. It has to fit me well, look nice and be affordable for me. (The 'affordable for me' is the most challenging part.) I don't like expensive brand name clothes. I think it's a complete waste of money (unless you can get the same item for 75% off). The sales like 'buy 1 get 1 free', 'get 50% off' or 'clearance' always sucker me into the store. When I was in California last spring, I went outlet shopping. There I bought lots of stuff that was 'afffordable for me'. I had to pay the extra fee cause my luggage was overweight on my flight back to Vancouver .
I like the Entertainment Book. It encourages me to spend money on places which I don't go very often. I especially like the restaurant section. But I should take advantage of the Attractions section of the book. There are coupons I would like to use like the corn maze and the aquarium. One time I went out to dinner with someone and he was very embarrassed about using one of the coupons. That was the only time I have encountered someone like that. I don't understand why anyone would be embarrassed with saving money.
I think it is in the Asian blood to be thrifty. We try to get the 'value' in everything. If its free, we will take it. If we get a free gift to sign up, we will sign up for the gift. If it's 50% off, we will try to get a better discount. If its 2 for 1, we will buy it and save the other one for another day. If there are no prices or at the night markets, we will negotiation a cheaper price. If there is a 50% discount if we bring someone, we will bring the friend along just to get the discount.
I learned from my parents at a young age to be thrifty. It was while they were teaching me the value of money that they also taught me about being thrifty. I grew up in the ghetto part of Vancouver and my parents worked all the time to support us. They had to stretch every dollar they made. We played with what we had in our surroundings, no expensive toys. Shopping at Army and Navy was a lesson on money. If your $15 can be spent on a pair of shoes at Army and Navy and you see a similar pair elsewhere for $50, you really think about if its worth spending $50 on the pair of shoes. Of course you think about the quality of the shoe and depends on how often you wear the shoes.
I notice when I go shopping for clothes I'm very picky. I'm picky because I don't like spending alot of money on clothes. It has to fit me well, look nice and be affordable for me. (The 'affordable for me' is the most challenging part.) I don't like expensive brand name clothes. I think it's a complete waste of money (unless you can get the same item for 75% off). The sales like 'buy 1 get 1 free', 'get 50% off' or 'clearance' always sucker me into the store. When I was in California last spring, I went outlet shopping. There I bought lots of stuff that was 'afffordable for me'. I had to pay the extra fee cause my luggage was overweight on my flight back to Vancouver .
I like the Entertainment Book. It encourages me to spend money on places which I don't go very often. I especially like the restaurant section. But I should take advantage of the Attractions section of the book. There are coupons I would like to use like the corn maze and the aquarium. One time I went out to dinner with someone and he was very embarrassed about using one of the coupons. That was the only time I have encountered someone like that. I don't understand why anyone would be embarrassed with saving money.
I think it is in the Asian blood to be thrifty. We try to get the 'value' in everything. If its free, we will take it. If we get a free gift to sign up, we will sign up for the gift. If it's 50% off, we will try to get a better discount. If its 2 for 1, we will buy it and save the other one for another day. If there are no prices or at the night markets, we will negotiation a cheaper price. If there is a 50% discount if we bring someone, we will bring the friend along just to get the discount.
Day 47: Memories
"Thank you for the memories!"
This is what I should be saying to all my friends. Every time I hang out with someone I am creating a memory with them. You can't erase a memory. I do have a bad memory but sometimes things will trigger a certain memory for me. If it's a bad or good memory, I will remember particular things about the situation. Sometimes I remember their facial expressions. Sometimes I remember what they said to me. Sometimes I remember how I felt. Life is about creating memories. It doesn't matter if it is with family or friends. You want to hang out with them or they want to hang out with you because you want to create memories with each other. Memories are something no one can take away from you. They can take your money. They can take your house. They can take away your car. But they can't take away the memories of your life. Even if you are broke and dying, you will still have your precious memories of your wonderful friends and family.
Thank you for a great weekend my friends. On Saturday nite I had a Girls Nite Out at my place. It was a group of girls getting together at a pampering session. It was nice to talk to just girls. We can talk about things that boys won't understand or don't want to talk about. This morning I went to my friends house to see the PartyLite items she has for sale. It was the first time I actually got a chance to talk to her. The other times I see her is at the softball field and it is very hard to carry on a conversation. After buying some candles from my PartyLite friend, I headed downtown to meet some friends for some rollerblading and walking. Out of all the times I have rollerbladed, this was the farthest I have been. This is also the first time I have fallen. I fell down when I was trying to go up a small hill. After the long rollerblading trek, we had a well deserved dinner at Chili House Thai Restaurant. The food was delicious. The service was questionable. We sat outside on the patio with a wonderful view of the water. To end the day I had a very relaxing bath to soothe my muscles.
This is what I should be saying to all my friends. Every time I hang out with someone I am creating a memory with them. You can't erase a memory. I do have a bad memory but sometimes things will trigger a certain memory for me. If it's a bad or good memory, I will remember particular things about the situation. Sometimes I remember their facial expressions. Sometimes I remember what they said to me. Sometimes I remember how I felt. Life is about creating memories. It doesn't matter if it is with family or friends. You want to hang out with them or they want to hang out with you because you want to create memories with each other. Memories are something no one can take away from you. They can take your money. They can take your house. They can take away your car. But they can't take away the memories of your life. Even if you are broke and dying, you will still have your precious memories of your wonderful friends and family.
Thank you for a great weekend my friends. On Saturday nite I had a Girls Nite Out at my place. It was a group of girls getting together at a pampering session. It was nice to talk to just girls. We can talk about things that boys won't understand or don't want to talk about. This morning I went to my friends house to see the PartyLite items she has for sale. It was the first time I actually got a chance to talk to her. The other times I see her is at the softball field and it is very hard to carry on a conversation. After buying some candles from my PartyLite friend, I headed downtown to meet some friends for some rollerblading and walking. Out of all the times I have rollerbladed, this was the farthest I have been. This is also the first time I have fallen. I fell down when I was trying to go up a small hill. After the long rollerblading trek, we had a well deserved dinner at Chili House Thai Restaurant. The food was delicious. The service was questionable. We sat outside on the patio with a wonderful view of the water. To end the day I had a very relaxing bath to soothe my muscles.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Day 46: Passion
Tonight I went to the Summer Night Market in Richmond. The performers tonight was from Fresh Groove Productions (http://www.freshgrooveproductions.ca/home.php). Fresh Groove Productions is a group of hip hop dancers. I met one of the original members in 1997. At that time he didn't start Fresh Groove yet. But he had been dancing for years before I met him. I don't see him very often. When I do see him, he always tells me what's up with his dancing. After 12 years of knowing him, he stills carries on his passion of dancing.
I really envy anyone who has found their passion in life. Some people find it early on their life. Some people don't find it till later on their life. Whenever it is, they find it. How do you know you have found your passion in life? Maybe that's why I am trying so many new things in my life. I haven't found my passion yet. Maybe I will find it while achieving my bucket list. I will find something I love to do. I will do that 'something' many times over before I die. It will be on my mind all the time. I will try to find time to do it as much as possible. When I talk to someone about my passion, my face will glow, my eyes will light up and there will be excitement in my voice.
I really envy anyone who has found their passion in life. Some people find it early on their life. Some people don't find it till later on their life. Whenever it is, they find it. How do you know you have found your passion in life? Maybe that's why I am trying so many new things in my life. I haven't found my passion yet. Maybe I will find it while achieving my bucket list. I will find something I love to do. I will do that 'something' many times over before I die. It will be on my mind all the time. I will try to find time to do it as much as possible. When I talk to someone about my passion, my face will glow, my eyes will light up and there will be excitement in my voice.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Day 45: Fear
FEAR*
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
*thanks to Marc (http://www.lifesuccessconsulting.ca/)*
Fear is about creating the worst that can happen in your head. It may be a genetic thing. It may be learned from another family member. Maybe you saw your mother whack the spider that she is scared of. She trained you to be scared of that spider. It may be an incident that happened to you when you were young and you don't want to re-live it anymore. As an adult, you may be more afraid then young kids to do an activity. Young kids have no fear. They think they are invincible. I also think as you get older, because of more experience, you become more fearful.
What are you afraid of? heights? public speaking? water?
I am afraid of heights. I have to get over the fear because I want to go paragliding. I am not sure why I am afraid of heights. I went skydiving in '98 and I went up 10,000 feet to jump down. It was very scary and I screamed. But once I realized that no one can hear me I stopped screaming. Maybe I just have to practice being in high places?
I had a classmate who always was very nervous and her voice cracked and sounded like she was going to break down and cry when it was her turn to present her part of the presentation. I felt so bad for her. Maybe she was just nervous or maybe she really had a fear of public speaking? There are groups like Toastmasters that help you with public speaking. They are very supportive and everyone has the same fear and they want to overcome it together.
I think I may have a fear of water that's why I don't know how to swim. I almost drowned when I was about 2 or 3 in the ocean. My mom saved me. I am trying to overcome the fear of water by being in the pool more. I want to take aquafit classes. I signed up for swimming lessons in October. Hopefully by the end of my swimming lessons, I will have no fear of the water.
False
Evidence
Appearing
Real
*thanks to Marc (http://www.lifesuccessconsulting.ca/)*
Fear is about creating the worst that can happen in your head. It may be a genetic thing. It may be learned from another family member. Maybe you saw your mother whack the spider that she is scared of. She trained you to be scared of that spider. It may be an incident that happened to you when you were young and you don't want to re-live it anymore. As an adult, you may be more afraid then young kids to do an activity. Young kids have no fear. They think they are invincible. I also think as you get older, because of more experience, you become more fearful.
What are you afraid of? heights? public speaking? water?
I am afraid of heights. I have to get over the fear because I want to go paragliding. I am not sure why I am afraid of heights. I went skydiving in '98 and I went up 10,000 feet to jump down. It was very scary and I screamed. But once I realized that no one can hear me I stopped screaming. Maybe I just have to practice being in high places?
I had a classmate who always was very nervous and her voice cracked and sounded like she was going to break down and cry when it was her turn to present her part of the presentation. I felt so bad for her. Maybe she was just nervous or maybe she really had a fear of public speaking? There are groups like Toastmasters that help you with public speaking. They are very supportive and everyone has the same fear and they want to overcome it together.
I think I may have a fear of water that's why I don't know how to swim. I almost drowned when I was about 2 or 3 in the ocean. My mom saved me. I am trying to overcome the fear of water by being in the pool more. I want to take aquafit classes. I signed up for swimming lessons in October. Hopefully by the end of my swimming lessons, I will have no fear of the water.
Day 44: Expectations
What is expected of me? I think I know. But really I don't. Not everyone tells me what they expect of me.
My mom has high expectations of me. She expected me to graduate high school with A's. After high school, she wanted me to go to university. After university is to get the good job (ie. accountant, lawyer, nurse, flight attendant). After the good job is the family with the two kids and a house before I turn 30. She also had the same expectations for my older sister. My sister followed that route. She had the A's, went to university, got the good job. (My mom doesn't know what my sister does, but knows it's a good job.) She has the 2 houses, 2 cars and 2 kids. Well, obviously I didn't go that route. I am 32 and none of that happened before I turned 30. Sometimes I am disappointed at myself for not achieving my mom's expectations. But I have to remember that it is my mom's expectations and not mine. I am me and my own person. Maybe I am carving my own way in life. My parents came from Vietnam many moons ago. These expectations are the 'ideal' lifestyle in their eyes. She thinks I will be successful if I achieve all of these expectations. Will I be successful in their eyes if I carved my own way in life? Maybe it's just a different route to get to the house and the car and the 2 kids? I am not sure how my sister feels. Does she feel like she lived up to my mom's expectations? Does she ever feel that she wanted to do her own thing and not follow my mom's expectations? If my sister didn't follow my 'mom's route', would my mom be disappointed that 2 of her daughters deviated from her expectations?
I was at my friend's birthday dinner a few weeks ago and we were talking about relationships and why they break down. We realized that one reason why they break down is because of expectations. I can say that this has happened to me more than once. The best way to prevent the relationship from breaking down is to communicate the expectations with the other person. I have created my 'ideal man' in my head. I then expected every guy I date to be like that. As I grow older I realized that every man is different. I have to differentiate from fantasy and reality. My 'ideal man' is fantasy. Guys I meet in real life is reality. What has happened previously was that they would do something that didn't meet my expectations and I would get mad at them. Then the relationship would spiral downwards from there. If the other person knows my expectations, then maybe there won't be many arguments. Maybe it's just easier to type this then to actually do it in real life. I have a really hard time communicating my feelings nevermind communicating my expectations.
My mom has high expectations of me. She expected me to graduate high school with A's. After high school, she wanted me to go to university. After university is to get the good job (ie. accountant, lawyer, nurse, flight attendant). After the good job is the family with the two kids and a house before I turn 30. She also had the same expectations for my older sister. My sister followed that route. She had the A's, went to university, got the good job. (My mom doesn't know what my sister does, but knows it's a good job.) She has the 2 houses, 2 cars and 2 kids. Well, obviously I didn't go that route. I am 32 and none of that happened before I turned 30. Sometimes I am disappointed at myself for not achieving my mom's expectations. But I have to remember that it is my mom's expectations and not mine. I am me and my own person. Maybe I am carving my own way in life. My parents came from Vietnam many moons ago. These expectations are the 'ideal' lifestyle in their eyes. She thinks I will be successful if I achieve all of these expectations. Will I be successful in their eyes if I carved my own way in life? Maybe it's just a different route to get to the house and the car and the 2 kids? I am not sure how my sister feels. Does she feel like she lived up to my mom's expectations? Does she ever feel that she wanted to do her own thing and not follow my mom's expectations? If my sister didn't follow my 'mom's route', would my mom be disappointed that 2 of her daughters deviated from her expectations?
I was at my friend's birthday dinner a few weeks ago and we were talking about relationships and why they break down. We realized that one reason why they break down is because of expectations. I can say that this has happened to me more than once. The best way to prevent the relationship from breaking down is to communicate the expectations with the other person. I have created my 'ideal man' in my head. I then expected every guy I date to be like that. As I grow older I realized that every man is different. I have to differentiate from fantasy and reality. My 'ideal man' is fantasy. Guys I meet in real life is reality. What has happened previously was that they would do something that didn't meet my expectations and I would get mad at them. Then the relationship would spiral downwards from there. If the other person knows my expectations, then maybe there won't be many arguments. Maybe it's just easier to type this then to actually do it in real life. I have a really hard time communicating my feelings nevermind communicating my expectations.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Day 43: Dedication
It's midnight on a work nite and I'm writing on my blog. That's dedication. Why am I so dedicated to writing on this blog? It's something I set my mind to and I feel I can accomplish this challenge.
Dedication is something you set your mind to and go for it. It doesn`t matter what gets in your way and what hurdles you have to jump thru. You have a plan and you are going to get there. Some people are dedicated to helping others, some people are dedicated to their jobs, some people are dedicated to raising their families.
Dedication is a drive that takes you the direction you want to go. If you want to go downhill with your life, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You think negatively, you do things that won`t improve your life. If you want your life to be stale, you do things to live that way. Everyday is the same, don`t do anything new or exciting. You don`t dedicate your life to anything. If you want your life to go uphill, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You are aware of what you need to do to improve your life. You dedicate your time to doing things and saying things that make your life wonderful. You dedicate yourself to making yourself a better person. It makes you happy and everyone else around you happy.
Dedication is something you set your mind to and go for it. It doesn`t matter what gets in your way and what hurdles you have to jump thru. You have a plan and you are going to get there. Some people are dedicated to helping others, some people are dedicated to their jobs, some people are dedicated to raising their families.
Dedication is a drive that takes you the direction you want to go. If you want to go downhill with your life, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You think negatively, you do things that won`t improve your life. If you want your life to be stale, you do things to live that way. Everyday is the same, don`t do anything new or exciting. You don`t dedicate your life to anything. If you want your life to go uphill, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You are aware of what you need to do to improve your life. You dedicate your time to doing things and saying things that make your life wonderful. You dedicate yourself to making yourself a better person. It makes you happy and everyone else around you happy.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Day 42: My Values
My values changed over the years. I had a piece of paper from when I was in grade 11. It had a list of my values at the time. They were happiness, achievement, variety, respect and adventure. I would say all of them apply to me now but they aren't my top five anymore.
My top 5 values now are happiness, honesty, trust, respect and confidence. I had the idea for this shoot but I wasn't sure about my top 5 values. I thought about what was happening in my life at that time. I realized how important honesty, trust and respect are when my ex and I broke up. Maybe it was in spite but he told me he was hanging out with my best friend. They hung out without me and without telling me. Of course they don't have to tell me where they are going and who they are going with. But I think it's disrespectful that they did that behind my back. No, I don't think they were dating. They both were dishonest with me. They lost my trust and respect for them by hanging out together without me. I realized that the most important thing is my own happiness. I am the only one that can control it. Yes, I am happier without them in my life. I don't need people who treat me like that. I think one way to be happy is to try different things and activities and maybe find my passion in life. There are so many things I don't know how to do and places I haven't been. How do I know if those things would makes me happy? I also believe that I need to develop more confidence in my life (that's a post for another day.)
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Day 41: Accomplishments
There are two types of accomplishments: small accomplishments and large accomplishments. Small accomplishments include things like cleaning my room and writing on my blog. Some large accomplishments include finishing my bachelors degree and being a big sister.
Small accomplishments are things / activities that take a short amount of time and make a small difference in my life. Sometimes it can be something routine. I know cleaning my room is something I shouldn't consider, but it's true. When I clean my room, I take the time and effort to make it look and smell good. I can enjoy it and relax.
Large accomplishments are things /activities that are more long term and make a larger impact on my life. Long term could even mean a lifetime of working on the activity. My bachelors degree will take me a long time. But when I finish, hopefully I will feel I large sense of accomplishment. I am not going to school to find a job. I am wanting to finish my bachelors degree because I want to finish what I started. I have started a few diplomas / certificates but never finished them. This time I am determined to finish what I started. I don't want to be known as someone never completing what they started.
I am not a big sister yet. I would think that being a big sister will influence / inspire a younger female to use their abilities to their fullest potential. Hopefully I can commit to a few years and watch my little sister grow to be a better person.
Working on my bucket list gives me a sense of accomplishment. I can cross things off my list knowing that I went thru feelings of doubt and fear to accomplish the activity. Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list. It's a way to push myself to the limit to see how far I can go. When I donated blood, there were many points when I can leave and not continue with the donation process. I decided that I didn't want to fail at my first item on my bucket list.
Completing the Grouse Grind was an accomplishment for me. It took me 2 hours to complete it. But I don't think its that bad for my first time. It was my first hike. I was already huffing and puffing within the first 10 mins of the grind. My friend said 'lets make it to the 1/4 mark and decide if we want to go back down or go the rest of the way up.' We finally made it to the 1/4 mark. I looked down and it's pretty steep and dangerous going down. I didn't want to go down. I decided to go up and finish what I started. It was challenging physically and mentally. I am so out of shape that my muscles got tired easily. Mentally it was about staying focussed and encouraging myself to go forward. It was a test about mind over matter. If my mind is able to help me focus on something 'little' like this, it will be able to help me with bigger challenges. I took a picture at every 1/4 mark (1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and top). Every 1/4 mark was a milestone to me. It was small accomplishments leading up to a large accomplishment.
Small accomplishments are things / activities that take a short amount of time and make a small difference in my life. Sometimes it can be something routine. I know cleaning my room is something I shouldn't consider, but it's true. When I clean my room, I take the time and effort to make it look and smell good. I can enjoy it and relax.
Large accomplishments are things /activities that are more long term and make a larger impact on my life. Long term could even mean a lifetime of working on the activity. My bachelors degree will take me a long time. But when I finish, hopefully I will feel I large sense of accomplishment. I am not going to school to find a job. I am wanting to finish my bachelors degree because I want to finish what I started. I have started a few diplomas / certificates but never finished them. This time I am determined to finish what I started. I don't want to be known as someone never completing what they started.
I am not a big sister yet. I would think that being a big sister will influence / inspire a younger female to use their abilities to their fullest potential. Hopefully I can commit to a few years and watch my little sister grow to be a better person.
Working on my bucket list gives me a sense of accomplishment. I can cross things off my list knowing that I went thru feelings of doubt and fear to accomplish the activity. Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list. It's a way to push myself to the limit to see how far I can go. When I donated blood, there were many points when I can leave and not continue with the donation process. I decided that I didn't want to fail at my first item on my bucket list.
Completing the Grouse Grind was an accomplishment for me. It took me 2 hours to complete it. But I don't think its that bad for my first time. It was my first hike. I was already huffing and puffing within the first 10 mins of the grind. My friend said 'lets make it to the 1/4 mark and decide if we want to go back down or go the rest of the way up.' We finally made it to the 1/4 mark. I looked down and it's pretty steep and dangerous going down. I didn't want to go down. I decided to go up and finish what I started. It was challenging physically and mentally. I am so out of shape that my muscles got tired easily. Mentally it was about staying focussed and encouraging myself to go forward. It was a test about mind over matter. If my mind is able to help me focus on something 'little' like this, it will be able to help me with bigger challenges. I took a picture at every 1/4 mark (1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and top). Every 1/4 mark was a milestone to me. It was small accomplishments leading up to a large accomplishment.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Day 40: 15 years
I finally redeemed the Eccotique gift card my friends gave me for my birthday a few years ago. I used it towards the Caribbean Therapy spa service (http://www.eccotique.com/btherapye.php). My masseuse's name is Maria. She was a very nice lady. She is half Peruvian and half Chinese. We chatted while she was providing me my spa services. She said she heard that it takes 15 years to achieve your dream from the moment you have it in your mind to the moment it comes true.
I believe what she said is true. It may be a good time deadline for me to accomplish the items on my bucket list. As long as I don't loose focus I will be able to achieve them. If I work on something on my bucket list for the next 15 years, it will be completed. If I dream about something today and not work on it for 15 years, I can't expect it to happen. If it does happen, it will be a miracle. I should have bigger dreams and see how long it would take me to complete them.
I believe what she said is true. It may be a good time deadline for me to accomplish the items on my bucket list. As long as I don't loose focus I will be able to achieve them. If I work on something on my bucket list for the next 15 years, it will be completed. If I dream about something today and not work on it for 15 years, I can't expect it to happen. If it does happen, it will be a miracle. I should have bigger dreams and see how long it would take me to complete them.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Day 39: Procrastination
One time on MSN someone asked me what I was doing. I said I was busy procrastinating. Procrastination is a word I learned about 10 years ago. It is a word I use very often. I think I procrastinate every day. I know it`s a very bad habit. I get distracted very easily. If I have to do something on my computer, I will be distracted by a new website or something I have to look up.
I realized that I procrastinate because of the following reasons:
- I am not in a rush for anything
- I don`t want to do the assignment or activity
- I`m too lazy
- I make an excuse to not do it
I am not in a rush for anything.
Some days I don`t have anything planned. These are the days I procrastinate the most. I do one thing and that will lead to another. I will go on one site and that will lead me to another. The day can go on and on without me accomplishing any one thing.
I don`t want to do the assignment or activity.
When I was in school, I would procrastinate on doing my homework, especially if it was an assignment from a course that I didn`t like. It would have to be done but it will just take longer than expected.
I`m too lazy.
This is my famous excuse for everything. Some days I just don`t feel like doing anything. I may just feel like vegging out and watching TV (I have to enjoy my TV sometimes too). Sometimes I may pass the buck to someone else. I had a shirt that had to be mended. I asked my dad to do it for me. He said I should learn to do it myself. I said I know how to do it. I am just too lazy to do it myself.
I make an excuse to not do it.
The excuses comes in many forms. It can be `it`s too dark or too sunny or too raining`. It can be because I don`t know how to do it. It can be because I`m waiting for someone else to do their part then I can do my part.
After I procrastinate, I would feel bad later because I would get mad at myself for procrastinating. I would feel like I `wasted`my time. I figured a way to make it work in my life. I should just work in procrastinating time to what I`m doing. For example, when I pay my bills online, it should only take me 5 mins. But I know I`m going to procrastinate when I get online, so my new bill payment time will now be 10 mins. Another way to cut down on my procrastination is to have a piece of paper and pen beside by computer. This way I can write things down that I want to search for at a later day and not have to do it right away. I can also write a list of things I need to get done. I will feel a sense of accomplishment after I cross things off my list. If I didn`t cross anything off my list, I know I have been procrastinating for too long.
I realized that I procrastinate because of the following reasons:
- I am not in a rush for anything
- I don`t want to do the assignment or activity
- I`m too lazy
- I make an excuse to not do it
I am not in a rush for anything.
Some days I don`t have anything planned. These are the days I procrastinate the most. I do one thing and that will lead to another. I will go on one site and that will lead me to another. The day can go on and on without me accomplishing any one thing.
I don`t want to do the assignment or activity.
When I was in school, I would procrastinate on doing my homework, especially if it was an assignment from a course that I didn`t like. It would have to be done but it will just take longer than expected.
I`m too lazy.
This is my famous excuse for everything. Some days I just don`t feel like doing anything. I may just feel like vegging out and watching TV (I have to enjoy my TV sometimes too). Sometimes I may pass the buck to someone else. I had a shirt that had to be mended. I asked my dad to do it for me. He said I should learn to do it myself. I said I know how to do it. I am just too lazy to do it myself.
I make an excuse to not do it.
The excuses comes in many forms. It can be `it`s too dark or too sunny or too raining`. It can be because I don`t know how to do it. It can be because I`m waiting for someone else to do their part then I can do my part.
After I procrastinate, I would feel bad later because I would get mad at myself for procrastinating. I would feel like I `wasted`my time. I figured a way to make it work in my life. I should just work in procrastinating time to what I`m doing. For example, when I pay my bills online, it should only take me 5 mins. But I know I`m going to procrastinate when I get online, so my new bill payment time will now be 10 mins. Another way to cut down on my procrastination is to have a piece of paper and pen beside by computer. This way I can write things down that I want to search for at a later day and not have to do it right away. I can also write a list of things I need to get done. I will feel a sense of accomplishment after I cross things off my list. If I didn`t cross anything off my list, I know I have been procrastinating for too long.
Day 38: Time to Splurge
After working so hard on my bucket list, it's time to splurge. I feel I deserve some time to relax. My friends got me a gift card to Eccotique a few years ago for my birthday. After so many years, I thought I may not have any balance on it anymore. I just checked on the website and it still has the complete balance.
I have the day off tomorrow. With my days off lately I have been going out (ie. Cultus Lake) and haven't really been able to relax and rejuvenate yet. I have never been to one of those spas before. It will be a good way to just relax and get my mind off things. I am not sure if I have to make an appointment or I can just drop in.
I think it is good to splurge once in awhile. It can be expensive. If I only do it once in awhile its ok. I splurged by going jet skiing at Cultus Lake. It was an expensive experience. They way I think of it, I will be doing it once in a blue moon. If it was something I would be doing on a regular basis, I would be more cautious on the price of the activity.
You only live once. I grew up in the ghetto in East Van. We didn't grow up with expensive things. Our wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs and shopping at Army and Navy. We walked to Army and Navy because we lived close by.My parents taught me that I have to work for my money. I found a job at 15, the legal age to work. Yes, I have to admit I can be thrifty at times. I just don't see the value in buying expensive brand name things (ie. Coach, LV, Gucci). I get it from my parents. They are very cautious on what they spend their money on. These few years I have been making more money than I was before. I have paid off all my debts. I don't have any bills with outstanding balances. I can afford more things than before. I can splurge a little bit at a time. My excuse for not doing anything or buying anything before was because I didn't have the money. I can slowly eliminate that phrase 'I don't have the money' from my vocabulary. Now it is about enjoying what I want.
I have the day off tomorrow. With my days off lately I have been going out (ie. Cultus Lake) and haven't really been able to relax and rejuvenate yet. I have never been to one of those spas before. It will be a good way to just relax and get my mind off things. I am not sure if I have to make an appointment or I can just drop in.
I think it is good to splurge once in awhile. It can be expensive. If I only do it once in awhile its ok. I splurged by going jet skiing at Cultus Lake. It was an expensive experience. They way I think of it, I will be doing it once in a blue moon. If it was something I would be doing on a regular basis, I would be more cautious on the price of the activity.
You only live once. I grew up in the ghetto in East Van. We didn't grow up with expensive things. Our wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs and shopping at Army and Navy. We walked to Army and Navy because we lived close by.My parents taught me that I have to work for my money. I found a job at 15, the legal age to work. Yes, I have to admit I can be thrifty at times. I just don't see the value in buying expensive brand name things (ie. Coach, LV, Gucci). I get it from my parents. They are very cautious on what they spend their money on. These few years I have been making more money than I was before. I have paid off all my debts. I don't have any bills with outstanding balances. I can afford more things than before. I can splurge a little bit at a time. My excuse for not doing anything or buying anything before was because I didn't have the money. I can slowly eliminate that phrase 'I don't have the money' from my vocabulary. Now it is about enjoying what I want.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 37: Sense of Belonging
Do you ever feel like you don't belong?
Sense of belonging is the third tier in Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs. It goes after physiological (food, water, sleep, etc) and safety (security of body, employment, resources, etc). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mazlow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg) I think we all yearn for it on some level. Some people more than others. Maybe that's why people join gangs / organizations / associations. I know its bad to put gangs in the same category as organizations. But I think the underlying reason is the same: you want to belong to a group (something bigger than youself). I used to belong to many organizations / associations. It gave me a sense of focus and security. I don't belong to those organizations / associations anymore. It is maybe because my focus is on a different direction. I may look into other organizations / associations to join.
When I was in elementary and secondary school, sense of belonging was about being popular. It was also about being associated with someone popular. I don't think I was popular at all in school. I went to a different school in grade 5 because we moved neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with any of the 'groups'. In high school, I hung out with a few 'groups'. By grade 12 I was in the annual club and was hanging with my two buddies. The annual club was something that got me to interact with more students in the school. My two friends were super smarter than me. (They were 'A' students and I surely wasn't. I almost failed high school.). I felt left out sometimes on their conversations because they were in a different program than me. I didn't like the feeling of being left out or pushed out of a 'group'.
As I grew older and became more mature, I became more accepting of people. I have friends from all walks of life. I don't think I have a large group of close friends. I have a large group of acquintances. I don't care about being popular anymore. I am me. I have come to accept that popular isn't the way to go. There are a wide range of people. They all have something to offer. I belong to my family. I feel a sense of belonging with my co workers. I have a sense of belonging with my softball pals.
Sense of belonging is the third tier in Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs. It goes after physiological (food, water, sleep, etc) and safety (security of body, employment, resources, etc). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mazlow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg) I think we all yearn for it on some level. Some people more than others. Maybe that's why people join gangs / organizations / associations. I know its bad to put gangs in the same category as organizations. But I think the underlying reason is the same: you want to belong to a group (something bigger than youself). I used to belong to many organizations / associations. It gave me a sense of focus and security. I don't belong to those organizations / associations anymore. It is maybe because my focus is on a different direction. I may look into other organizations / associations to join.
When I was in elementary and secondary school, sense of belonging was about being popular. It was also about being associated with someone popular. I don't think I was popular at all in school. I went to a different school in grade 5 because we moved neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with any of the 'groups'. In high school, I hung out with a few 'groups'. By grade 12 I was in the annual club and was hanging with my two buddies. The annual club was something that got me to interact with more students in the school. My two friends were super smarter than me. (They were 'A' students and I surely wasn't. I almost failed high school.). I felt left out sometimes on their conversations because they were in a different program than me. I didn't like the feeling of being left out or pushed out of a 'group'.
As I grew older and became more mature, I became more accepting of people. I have friends from all walks of life. I don't think I have a large group of close friends. I have a large group of acquintances. I don't care about being popular anymore. I am me. I have come to accept that popular isn't the way to go. There are a wide range of people. They all have something to offer. I belong to my family. I feel a sense of belonging with my co workers. I have a sense of belonging with my softball pals.
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