Day 189: third day in Chicago

Restaurant blogs updated:
The Gage for lunch
The Colonial for dinner
Http://lisa-restuarants.blogspot.com

I got to sleep in again. I started my day at about 10am. I didnt go to the fitness centre today. I didnt have time.

I wanted to eat before i headed to my segway tour. I went to The Gage across from Millenium Park (see restuarant blog) for lunch. My segway tour was about 3 hours long. Our tour guide was an older gentleman. In my group was a middle aged man and his two sons. We had a short safety lesson before we headed on our three hour tour. The tour guide led us to see ( we didn't go in the various attractions ) Adler Planetarium, Buckingham Fountain, Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, Soldier Field and Grant Park / Millenium Park. Being on a segway is super fun. It uses your weight to steer. It is much easier to learn than a bike. You can control how fast you go depending on how much you lean forwards or backwards. I wish i can use a segway everywhere i go (including in vancouver except when it rains).

I finished the tour abour 430pm. I wanted to see if they have any half price tix to anything i want to see. On the way there i found the Hershey store. A chocolate lovers heaven. They had tix for a comedy show but it was 7 miles away. I thought it was too far. The tix center was right by the John Hancock building. There is the observatory on the 94th floor. I bought the complete package with the audio tour. The audio tour is narrated by David Schwimmer (sp?) (from Friends). It was neat to learn about the various history of buildings and landmarks. After the observatory, it was time for dinner. I got a pamphlet with a listing of restaurants. I saw the one vietnamese restaurant and it was close to where i was and decided to go. I went to The Colonial (see restaurant blog).

I decided to walk back to my hotel. It was only about 10 blocks away. When it gets dark i like to stay on the main road. The main road i went on is the Magnificent Mile. It is like Robson Street except much bigger. It has many clothing stores including Eddie Bauer, Forever 21, Salvatore Ferregama (sp?), Victoria's Secret and many more. They have Saks Fifth Ave, Disney Store, Cartier, Crate and Barrel, Gap and many more. My hotel is about a block away from the Mag Mile.


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Day 188: Second day in Chicago

Restaurant update: The Chicago Firehouse
Http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Health and wellness: Day 2 of training http://lisahealthwellness.blogspot.com

Today started late for me. I got up at 1030. Im on vacation i get to sleep in. I went to the fitness center (see health and fitness blog). I did some research on what i want to do tomorrow. Then i finally went to get some food. I went to The Chicago Firehouse Restaurant (see the restaurant review). I took the subway there. I decided to walk on Michigan Ave back to my hotel. It was about an hour walk. I decided to do some more walking around the neighourhood. I read about The Redhead Piano Bar. I walked by it about 830 and i decided to check it out. It was awesome. I have never been to a piano bar before. I expected someone to play the piano with old jazzy tunes. It was totally not like that. There was a piano and they built a bar around it so people can sit. We had a piano player named Stu. he was great. He reminded me of Norm Macdonald. He played requests. We just shout out a song for him to play and he would play it. I was there for 2 hours. I didnt expect to be there for that long. I was having so much fun. By the end of the night my feet are hurting and its time to rest.


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Day 187 - Palm Springs to Chicago

Restaurant blog: Cheesecake Factory - http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Health and fitness blog: http://lisahealthwellness.blogspot.com

I didnt blog the last few nights because i got home really late.

Friday
There was more outlet mall shopping. We went to Ontario Mills, which is an hour away from my sister. I bought more stuff (surprise, surprise). This day we spent more time at the mall than the day before. The day before i bought some stuff at Banana Republic. This day my sister wanted to see what they had at Banana Republic. We spent at least an hour there. She tried on so many things. She did end up buying a few items there. Then we went to dinner at Cheesecake Factory (see review above). We got home at 1130pm. I then had to pack for my flight the next morning.

Saturday
I had to wake up at 7am for my flight at 1030am. The kids woke up and came to my room at that time. The Palm Springs airport is an hour away from where my sister lives. I got to the airport at 930am, just in time to check in.

The flight to Chicago was uneventful. I was sitting beside an old couple. They didnt talk to me the whole flight. When we were close to landing the old man, who i sat beside, asked if i was in school. I said 'no'. He said i looked like a sophomore in college. I said ' you mean 18 or 19 years old?' He said he thought i was 19 years old. I said 'thank you ' and i told him i wasnt 19.

Today (Sunday)
I started my day at the fitness centre (see Health and Wellness blog). After my shower i headed to the Maxwell Street Festival. I decided to go somewhere far today. It quite a distance from where i am. It was ok. Its kinda like the Vancouver Flea Market but outdoors. The weather is chilly here, just like Vancouver. I was hungry and eager to see what kind of food booths they have. They only had Mexican food; tacos, churros, etc. i wasnt feeling the mexican food.

My next destination was Chinatown. I was hoping to get some good Chinese food. I managed to find a ghetto chinese restaurant. I like ghetto restaurants cause the food is more authentic. There were lots of chinese people dining there and i knew i was in the right place. I only ate a little bit because i wanted to save my stomach for more goodies. I was craving for a bubble tea (surprise! Surprise!) i saw a bunch of restaurants selling bubble tea. I am really hesitant to go to those places cause its not their specialty and they dont usually make it that well. I finally found a bubble tea place (its like Pearl Castle). I ordered a hot mango green tea with pearls.

My hotel is a block away from the Magnificant Mile. It is like Robson street with all the clothing stores. Last time when i went to New York we stayed at a hotel far away to save money. It was a pain in the ass. It was so inconvenient. This time i decided to stay within the downtown vicinty. I didnt mind spending more money. I got a good deal online and this time im spending half the price as new york. But being so close to downtown i hear all the traffic noise; the sirens and the cars honking.

My last destination was Navy Pier. It is within walking distance so i just walked there. It is really neat there. I read the background/ history of it at the entrance. It was used for the navy at one point hence the name. Now it is used for festivals and various gatherings. Its kinda similar to the Vancouver Convention Centre. There is event space where people can rent it out for weddings and conference space. There are also vendors which sell various things. There is a childrens musuem there. The pier is now used for sightseeing boat tours. You can also rent bikes. There is a beer garden and other pubs / restaurants. There is a stained glass exhibit. It is the largest of its kind and its free. When i was there almost everything was closed already. I didnt know that until i got there but i wanted to see what it was about.

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Day 186: 5th day in Redlands

Restaurant review: Ruby's Diner-Cabazon
Http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Today was an eventful day for us. We went to the Childrens Discovery Museum. It is an hour away from Redlands. There are lots of fun activities for the kids. After spending a few hours at the museum, we went to Desert Hills Premium Outlets in Cabazon. I love shopping at factory outlets. It is brand name clothing at a fraction of the price. I bought clothes from Izod, DKNY, Calvin Klein and Banana Republic today. I am not usally a brand name person but if they are the same price as no name clothing, why not?

After a few hours at the factory outlet, with two kids running around because they are restless, we finally headed to dinner at Ruby's Diner (see restaurant review).

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Day 185: 4th day in Redlands

Restaurant review up: In and Out Burger http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Today wasnt too eventful. We went to a neighbouring school with a playground. We went to In and Out Burger for lunch. We stayed in the rest of the night.

I chit chatted with the kids as we were walking. I was asking my 7 yr old niece basic things about where she lives and the US: things like what state she lives in, her address, etc. In the midst of me asking my niece those questions, my 3 yr old nephew says "george washington was the first president of the United States". i was in aw. I had no idea they were learning stuff like that at such a young age. My brother inlaw told me they learn more stuff than average in their Montessori school.

We were walking home and i accidently took the wrong turn home. We happened to walk on a street with no sidewalk. My niece said "why didnt they put in a sidewalk. The nerve of them!" I was really surprised she would say such a thing. When their parents came home and i told them what happened. My bro inlaw pointed at my sister. She says " the nerve of them" quite often. Monkey see monkey do!



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Day 184: 3rd day in Redlands

Restaurant posting up: Outback Steakhouse- http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Today we went to the local musuem. My nephew saw some trains at the side of musuem. We were walking towards the trains when a security guard came to us and asked us if we were with the school group. I said 'no'. He let us in the gate and told us to go in the building. Once i opened the door i realized we got in the musuem without paying the admission. Lucky us! We were in the musuem for about two hours.

It was time for lunch. I asked what they wanted for lunch. All they wanted was Subway. I tried to sway them to another option but nothing worked. I am all about trying the restaurants that we dont have in Vancouver. We ended up sharing a foot long $5 sub. Our sub had ham, turkey, lettuce, tomatoes and extra olives. They love olives.

After Subway we came home and I tried to put my nephew for a nap. He wasnt tired cause he snoozed a bit in the car on the way home.
We then took my niece to her ballet class. We went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse (see restaurant review). We ended the night with some Oreo ice cream.


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Day 183: 2nd day in redlands

Restaurant post up: Jack in the box - http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com

Today was an eventful day. We went to the library for about an hour. We had lunch at Jack in the Box (see restaurant review), and went to a neighbourhood park to feed the ducks.

I was doing my neice's hair and my nephew was sitting beside me watching. My iphone was on playing music. It was playing a Janet Jackson song. I told them that Janet Jackson is Michael Jackson's sister. My nephew then said "michael jackson died because his doctors gave him too much medicine". I was in shock that a 3 yr old would know such a thing. I was thinking his parents were the ones that told him. But why would they tell him, he was 2 when MJ passed away. He would be too young to understand. When his parents got home from work i told them what happened. They were shocked too. His dad then told me that he was explaining the michael jackson incident to his older sister and he was probably listening in. The lesson to be learnt: be careful what i say, the kids are always listening. They absorb everything.

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Day 182: 1st full day in Redlands

I actually arrived into California yesterday. But by the end of the day i was too tired to write two blogs.

I started my day at 630am. My flight was at noon in Bellingham. I arrived at the Bellingham Airport at 930am. There was no traffic cause it was so early on a saturday morning. It was surprising that there was a half an hour wait at the Peace Arch border crossing.

My flight took about 2.5 hours to Palm Springs. I didnt realized how tired i was. I fell asleep for 95 percent of the flight. My sister picked me up at 330pm. We then drove to where she lives. She lives in Redlands which is an hour away from Palm Springs. We relaxed at home for bit then went to Chilis for dinner (see my restaurants blog). After dinner my sister wanted to shop at Target. She went to Target first. Her husband, her kids and I walked around the strip mall. It was a nice evening to go for a walk. It was about 15-18 degrees. After our walk we met up with my sister at Target and we went home.

Today we went to Orange County. I have lots of relatives who live in Orange County. One cousin just bought a house and was having a house warming party today. It is a nice 4000 sq ft house in Fountain Valley. Very spacious with a small swimming pool and lots of storage space. The price of her house is the same as a very old house in Vancouver. There was so much food there. They ordered Vietnamese food. There was the grilled pork with vermicilli, yellow sticky rice, a veggie salad and a roll similar to a salad roll but a bit different. It isnt rolled with rice paper. Its rolled with 'ho fun' instead. There was no vermicilli noodles inside. There was beef slices and some veggies. After being there for six hours talking to relatives, eating two meals, and taking lots of pictures, it was time to head home. We got home at 9 pm and got the kids to bed right away. Tomorrow is the first full day with the kids.

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Day 181: Restaurant(Chilis) review today...more tomorrow

I managed to review the restaurant we went to for dinner: http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com/2010/03/chilis-redlands.html

I am too tired to write more tonight. I will try to write something tomorrow.

Day 180: Canucks vs San Jose

I enjoy the Canucks more and more. I try to watch the Canucks as much as I can. Majority of the time I watch them on TV. Tonight I went to the game at GM Place. I went with two of my friends. I like going to watch the game at GM Place. It is an awesome atmosphere. There are 18,000 people cheering along with you. Tonight there were a few San Jose fans.

Watching the game at GM Place is expensive entertainment. The tix is about $60-$70 each. Then there is the beer, the mini donuts, the nachos, the ice cream, the cotton candy, the burger, the hot dog, etc. Tonight my friend and I went to eat dinner at Moxie's before the game. It was a long wait to be seated and to be served our food. We got to GM Place really close to game time. At the intermissions, I wasn't hungry yet. We didn't end up getting any junk food there. One friend bought me a drink. But sometimes I head to the games without eating dinner before hand. That gets dangerous. Then all the food looks good. But they charge you an arm and a leg there. Sometimes I go for the mini donuts. It's similar to the ones at PNE. On a typical Canuck game night, I will be spending up to $70 on a tix, some mini donuts at $4.50 a bag and a drink at $4 or maybe a hot dog at $4 each. That will add up to close to $90. I don't go to games very often. It is nice to splurge once in awhile.

It is watching the game with a huge cheering crowd. Every time they score, we all cheer for them. Every time the puck goes in their zone, we cheer. When a player on the other team gets a penalty, we cheer. There's lots of cheering going on. There's 50/50 draws and the money goes to kids. There is Finn, the orca mascot, walking to different sections to get people to clap and cheer.

The Canucks beat the Sharks tonight: 3- 2! Go Canucks go!

Day 179: New blog - restaurants

This is what you all have been waiting for: (sorry it took so long)

http://lisa-restaurants.blogspot.com/

Day 178: Paralympics

The other night I went to the opening ceremonies for the paralympics. The tickets were very affordable. If the tickets were highly priced like the regular Olympics, I wouldn't have gone. I went to experience the excitement. There was so much energy in the stadium. When the athletes came marching in, we cheered for every team. There was an extra loud cheer and excitement for the Canadian team (obviously!). The highlight for me was the inspirational stories of Rick Hansen and Terry Fox. Rick Hansen's Man in Motion tour was extraordinary. As an able bodied person, I would never even think of walking or running around the world to raise money for any cause. But for a wheelchair bound person to make it around the world to raise money, it is just incredible. When he arrived in the stadium, he was center stage. There was nothing else in the stadium to distract the spectators. It was just him. We were all focused on him.

Terry Fox started the Marathon of Hope in 1980. It was one man's dream of trying to find a cure for cancer by raising money. When he started running, there was little notice of one man running on the highway. The more he ran, the more publicity he received. He wasn't on a mission to be rich or famous, he was one man trying to make a difference. He finally succumbed to his cancer in 1981 at the tender age of 22. His legacy still lives on 30 years later with the annual Terry Fox run. To represent his inspiration to all, his parents, Betty and Rolly Fox, came in the stadium with the paralympic torch. The inspirational timeline of a national hero: https://www.terryfox.org/Foundation/Facts.html

The paralympics aren't as popular as the 'regular' Olympics. I think as humans we are attracted to 'beautiful/normal' things. I know that sounds really superficial. If there was a game of sledge hockey or regular hockey game on tv, I would rather watch the regular hockey game. It is 'normal' to me. Maybe that's why many games are very affordable to watch? Most people aren't used to watching paralympians competing. If many people don't watch the events, it isn't publicized and widely aired so therefore it doesn't get the advertising dollars as the regular Olympics. There was also a smaller budget for their opening ceremonies (and probably for their closing ceremonies). It is all backwards. We should all be watching more of the Paralympics and less of the Olympics. It is twice as hard for the paralympian then a regular athlete. They have to adjust to their new lifestyle in their new prosthetic limbs AND they have to excel in their selected sporting event. So they work twice as hard but they receive half the money (in support) ?

Day 177: Jambo Grill and Good Morning Paan

www.jambogrill.ca

Establishments Name and background
It has been at this location before as "Original Good Morning Paan". Five years ago it was renamed "Jambo Grill and Good Morning Paan". It is located in the Collingwood area right beside the Raja Theatre at Kingsway and Joyce.

Food type/Taste
It is a African and East Indian cuisine restaurant. I think it makes sense. The flavours of the East Indian and African cuisine are very similar because of the spices and flavouring they use. The menu has a page of East Indian foods and a page of African food. I am not a huge fan of East Indian food. I picked something from the African cuisine.

We ordered two dishes and shared it. The first dish is the 'Nyama Choma Combo for 1'. This dish includes one piece of lamb kebab, one piece of kuku choma, two pieces of masi ribs, masala fries, garlic naan, salad and raita for $13.95. The garlic naan was delicious. Most of the meat was charbroiled. There was also a green minty dip. I am not exactly sure which meat was supposed to be dipped in the sauce. I tried it and it was tasty. There was also a sauce similar to tzatziki sauce. This dish was a good choice because we got to try a variation of meats. In the picture, this dish is on the left.

The second dish is the 'Jungle Ribs'. 12 oz of beef ribs marinated in a Tandoori sauce. It is served with masala potatoes and salad. I got the regular ribs (non spicy) for $12.95. I liked the jungle ribs. It was a bit on the sweet side and not spicy at all. The masala potatoes were too spicy for me.

Price Range
The price range on this menu is from $5 to $17.95. It is reasonably priced. We had an Entertainment coupon. For two of us, it was about $25 for two entrees and a drink.

Atmosphere
It has a very casual atmosphere. The decor is photographs and artwork from Africa and India. The lighting determines the atmosphere of the restaurant. If it is bright florescent lighting, it is a more casual atmosphere. It makes me just want to eat and go. If the lighting is dimmer, it is a more romantic restaurant. I have a tendency to stay longer and eat slower. This restaurant was in the ' bright florescent lighting' category. We just ate and left. There was no lingering/loitering at our table. I think it is a family owned restaurant. There were two young ladies as our servers. There was also an older fellow who is probably the owner of the restaurant. He came around to all the tables to see how everything was. Usually a way to tell, for me, if it is an authentic restaurant if there are people from that nationality dining at that restaurant. For example, a good Chinese restaurant would have lots of Chinese people dining there. For Jambo Grill, there was lots of African/East Indian people dining there.

Great place for couples, singles, etc
I think it is a great place for everyone. It is not as kid friendly as Sophie's.

Overall experience
I had a good overall experience. I would give it a 3 out of 5 stars. Food was good. Service was good. Good selection of menu items. Washrooms, tables and floors were clean. I would eat there again and try something different.

Day 176: Sophie's Cosmic Cafe

Establishments Name & background
Sophie's Cosmic Cafe is located at 2095 W 4th Ave in Kits. It has been around for many years. It is very well known iconic restaurant that many stars frequent it when they are in town or when they are shooting a movie here.

Food Type / Taste
They sell Western comfort food. They sell burgers, chicken, meatloaf and similar items. The portions are very generous. We shared two dishes. One was the open faced turkey sandwich. It had a heap of turkey on thick bread, side of mashed potatoes and nice slathering of gravy on the sandwich and mashed potatoes. The other dish was penne with shrimp, spinach and tomatoes. Usually when you order a dish with shrimp they only give you 2 or 3 shrimps. This penne had about 10 shrimps. I liked both the dishes very much. It was very tasty and I was full by the end of dinner.

Price Range
The price range is fairly reasonable. Each entree is about $10 - $20. There is a coupon in the Entertainment book. For two of us, it was $22 for two entrees and one tea. What a deal!

Atmosphere
It has a very eclectic atmosphere. It's very nostalgic. It has empty Coke bottles for the railings for the middle tables. There are old metal lunchboxes, album covers (including Elvis), toys from the 50's, 60's (and beyond) and signed pictures from stars who come to visit as their decor.

Great place for couples, singles, etc....
It is a great place to relax because it is very casual. It is a good place for families. It is very kid friendly. There is good selection for their kid's menu. It is also a fun place for couples. A good place to relax after a walk on Kits beach or a stroll on W 4th Ave.

Overall experience of the place
Out of 5 stars, I would give it a 3.5. The service was good. Because it is a small restaurant the server can see use easily when we raised our hands when we needed service. She was very prompt and efficient. The food was tasty. The decor was fun and interesting. I would dine there again.

Day 175: Happiness to me is....

...something that makes me smile

...a delicious bowl of pho

...when someone takes the time to do something nice for me

...spending quality time with my family and friends

...feeling the energy of the sunshine (maybe it's my need for Vitamin D?)

...being able to watch silly comedies like Glee, Big Bang Theory and 30 Rock

...sleeping in to get my 9 hours of sleep a night

...a lazy morning off, don't have to wake up to the alarm clock

...eating half a Japadog and leaving myself wanting me for next time...eating one whole one will fulfill my satisfaction and I won't want one for a very long time.

...a refreshing cup of bubble tea with nice soft pearls and coconut jelly

...knowing I have made a difference in someones life (inspired someone, teaching my niece something new, etc)

...keeping my stress level to a minimum

...sharing a special moment with that someone special..when I'm in their arms and nothing else matters and I am wishing time would stand still so I can savour that moment

Day 174: Moments in Life

There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take;
but by the moments that take our breath away!

Day 173: What goes around comes around

I have dated a few guys in my life. A few of them are the ones that break it off with me. There has been two that apologized to me for being such an asshole. One came 12 years after we broke up. It was at my party that he told me. He came up to me to chit chat with me and suddenly brought up our relationship. He said he was sorry for being such an asshole. I was very surprised because I didn't see that coming. Another guy I dated for a short time a few years ago came up to me at IKEA. I saw him coming towards me and didn't know what he would say and do if he saw me. Well, he gave me a big hug and we chit chatted for a bit and then the apology came out. He admitted that he was an asshole.

It was my turn. I never thought I would want to apologize to an ex. I broke it off with a guy about 11 years ago. I saw him at a party in January. We have some mutual friends. They started asking me why we broke it off. The more I talked to people about why we broke up, the more regret I felt. He is such a nice guy and didn't deserve that. I had an opportunity to finally say 'I'm sorry for what I have done.' I feel so much better and feel like a burden has been lifted.

Day 172: Funnies Blog

I am starting a new blog. It will be a collection of all the jokes and silly emails people send me. Some were sent to me years ago and I have kept them in my email box. I want share the laughter. Smiling and laughing lifts your spirits and makes you happy. I will share my first funny here on this blog but check my new blog for more funnies. If there is anything you would like to share, you can email them to me and I will post them.

God as a Computer Programmer

 Important Theological Questions that are Answered
 If we Think of God as a Computer Programmer.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Does God control everything that happens in my life?
A: He could if he used the debugger, but it's tedious to step
through all those variables.

Q: Why does God allow evil to happen?
A: God thought He eliminated evil in one of the earlier versions.

Q: Does God know everything?
A: He likes to think so, but He is often amazed to find out what
goes on in the daemon scripts.

Q: What causes God to intervene in earthly affairs?
A: If a critical error occurs, the system pages Him automatically
and He logs on from home to try to bring it up.

Otherwise things can wait until tomorrow.

Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?
A: He did it in six days and nights while living on Jolt and
candy bars. On the seventh day He went home and found out His
girlfriend had left Him.

Q: How come the Age of Miracles Ended?
A: That was the development phase of the project; now we are in
the maintenance phase.

Q: Will there be another Universe after the Big Bang?
A: A lot of people are drawing things on the white board, but
personally, God doubts that it will ever be implemented.

Q: Who is Satan?
A: Satan is an MIS director who takes credit for more powers
than he actually possesses, so nontechnical people are scared
of him. God thinks of him as irritating but irrelevant.

Q: What is the role of sinners?
A: Sinners are the people who find new and imaginative ways
to mess up the system when God has made it idiot-proof.

Q: Where will I go after I die?
A: Onto a DAT tape.

Q: Will I be reincarnated?
A: Not unless there is a special need to recreate you. And
searching those .tar files is a major hassle, so if there
is a request for you, God will just say that the tape has been lost.

Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?
A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites
running exact duplicates of you in the present release version.

Q: What is the purpose of the universe?
A: God created it because He values elegance and simplicity,
but then the users and managers demanded He tack all this
senseless stuff onto it, and now everything
is more complicated and expensive than ever.

Q: If I pray to God, will He listen?
A: You can waste His time telling Him what to do, or you can
just get off His back and let Him code.

Q: What is the one true religion?
A: All systems have their advantages and disadvantages,
so just pick the one that best suits your needs and don't
let anyone put you down.

Q: Is God angry that Jesus was crucified?
A: Let's just say He's not going to any more meetings if
He can help it, because that last one with the twelve
managers and the food turned out to be murder.

Q: How can I protect myself from evil?
A: Change your password every month and don't make it a name,
 a common word, or a date like your birthday.

Q: Some people claim they hear the voice of God. Is this true?
A: They are much more likely to receive email.

Q: How can we interpret the Heisenberg Uncertainty Constant?
A: A manifestation of our machine's precision limit.

Q: What was Aramaic?
A: The original Higher Order MACRO Language.

Q: What does that make Ancient Hebrew?
A: Aramaic++

Q: Why don't we see God at work?
A: God works at interrupt level. When He wants to do something,
He suspends our processes, saves our registers and status,
and swaps us out. Then He works His will on the world. Then
He swaps us back in, restores our registers and status, and
resumes our execution. To us, things appear to change by magic.

God as a Computer Programmer originated in Hobart, Tasmania
Australia by John Lamp