It's midnight on a work nite and I'm writing on my blog. That's dedication. Why am I so dedicated to writing on this blog? It's something I set my mind to and I feel I can accomplish this challenge.
Dedication is something you set your mind to and go for it. It doesn`t matter what gets in your way and what hurdles you have to jump thru. You have a plan and you are going to get there. Some people are dedicated to helping others, some people are dedicated to their jobs, some people are dedicated to raising their families.
Dedication is a drive that takes you the direction you want to go. If you want to go downhill with your life, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You think negatively, you do things that won`t improve your life. If you want your life to be stale, you do things to live that way. Everyday is the same, don`t do anything new or exciting. You don`t dedicate your life to anything. If you want your life to go uphill, you are dedicated to do things to head that way. You are aware of what you need to do to improve your life. You dedicate your time to doing things and saying things that make your life wonderful. You dedicate yourself to making yourself a better person. It makes you happy and everyone else around you happy.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Day 42: My Values
My values changed over the years. I had a piece of paper from when I was in grade 11. It had a list of my values at the time. They were happiness, achievement, variety, respect and adventure. I would say all of them apply to me now but they aren't my top five anymore.
My top 5 values now are happiness, honesty, trust, respect and confidence. I had the idea for this shoot but I wasn't sure about my top 5 values. I thought about what was happening in my life at that time. I realized how important honesty, trust and respect are when my ex and I broke up. Maybe it was in spite but he told me he was hanging out with my best friend. They hung out without me and without telling me. Of course they don't have to tell me where they are going and who they are going with. But I think it's disrespectful that they did that behind my back. No, I don't think they were dating. They both were dishonest with me. They lost my trust and respect for them by hanging out together without me. I realized that the most important thing is my own happiness. I am the only one that can control it. Yes, I am happier without them in my life. I don't need people who treat me like that. I think one way to be happy is to try different things and activities and maybe find my passion in life. There are so many things I don't know how to do and places I haven't been. How do I know if those things would makes me happy? I also believe that I need to develop more confidence in my life (that's a post for another day.)
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Day 41: Accomplishments
There are two types of accomplishments: small accomplishments and large accomplishments. Small accomplishments include things like cleaning my room and writing on my blog. Some large accomplishments include finishing my bachelors degree and being a big sister.
Small accomplishments are things / activities that take a short amount of time and make a small difference in my life. Sometimes it can be something routine. I know cleaning my room is something I shouldn't consider, but it's true. When I clean my room, I take the time and effort to make it look and smell good. I can enjoy it and relax.
Large accomplishments are things /activities that are more long term and make a larger impact on my life. Long term could even mean a lifetime of working on the activity. My bachelors degree will take me a long time. But when I finish, hopefully I will feel I large sense of accomplishment. I am not going to school to find a job. I am wanting to finish my bachelors degree because I want to finish what I started. I have started a few diplomas / certificates but never finished them. This time I am determined to finish what I started. I don't want to be known as someone never completing what they started.
I am not a big sister yet. I would think that being a big sister will influence / inspire a younger female to use their abilities to their fullest potential. Hopefully I can commit to a few years and watch my little sister grow to be a better person.
Working on my bucket list gives me a sense of accomplishment. I can cross things off my list knowing that I went thru feelings of doubt and fear to accomplish the activity. Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list. It's a way to push myself to the limit to see how far I can go. When I donated blood, there were many points when I can leave and not continue with the donation process. I decided that I didn't want to fail at my first item on my bucket list.
Completing the Grouse Grind was an accomplishment for me. It took me 2 hours to complete it. But I don't think its that bad for my first time. It was my first hike. I was already huffing and puffing within the first 10 mins of the grind. My friend said 'lets make it to the 1/4 mark and decide if we want to go back down or go the rest of the way up.' We finally made it to the 1/4 mark. I looked down and it's pretty steep and dangerous going down. I didn't want to go down. I decided to go up and finish what I started. It was challenging physically and mentally. I am so out of shape that my muscles got tired easily. Mentally it was about staying focussed and encouraging myself to go forward. It was a test about mind over matter. If my mind is able to help me focus on something 'little' like this, it will be able to help me with bigger challenges. I took a picture at every 1/4 mark (1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and top). Every 1/4 mark was a milestone to me. It was small accomplishments leading up to a large accomplishment.
Small accomplishments are things / activities that take a short amount of time and make a small difference in my life. Sometimes it can be something routine. I know cleaning my room is something I shouldn't consider, but it's true. When I clean my room, I take the time and effort to make it look and smell good. I can enjoy it and relax.
Large accomplishments are things /activities that are more long term and make a larger impact on my life. Long term could even mean a lifetime of working on the activity. My bachelors degree will take me a long time. But when I finish, hopefully I will feel I large sense of accomplishment. I am not going to school to find a job. I am wanting to finish my bachelors degree because I want to finish what I started. I have started a few diplomas / certificates but never finished them. This time I am determined to finish what I started. I don't want to be known as someone never completing what they started.
I am not a big sister yet. I would think that being a big sister will influence / inspire a younger female to use their abilities to their fullest potential. Hopefully I can commit to a few years and watch my little sister grow to be a better person.
Working on my bucket list gives me a sense of accomplishment. I can cross things off my list knowing that I went thru feelings of doubt and fear to accomplish the activity. Once I cross one item off, it will give me confidence to continue with my list. It's a way to push myself to the limit to see how far I can go. When I donated blood, there were many points when I can leave and not continue with the donation process. I decided that I didn't want to fail at my first item on my bucket list.
Completing the Grouse Grind was an accomplishment for me. It took me 2 hours to complete it. But I don't think its that bad for my first time. It was my first hike. I was already huffing and puffing within the first 10 mins of the grind. My friend said 'lets make it to the 1/4 mark and decide if we want to go back down or go the rest of the way up.' We finally made it to the 1/4 mark. I looked down and it's pretty steep and dangerous going down. I didn't want to go down. I decided to go up and finish what I started. It was challenging physically and mentally. I am so out of shape that my muscles got tired easily. Mentally it was about staying focussed and encouraging myself to go forward. It was a test about mind over matter. If my mind is able to help me focus on something 'little' like this, it will be able to help me with bigger challenges. I took a picture at every 1/4 mark (1/4, 1/2, 3/4 and top). Every 1/4 mark was a milestone to me. It was small accomplishments leading up to a large accomplishment.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Day 40: 15 years
I finally redeemed the Eccotique gift card my friends gave me for my birthday a few years ago. I used it towards the Caribbean Therapy spa service (http://www.eccotique.com/btherapye.php). My masseuse's name is Maria. She was a very nice lady. She is half Peruvian and half Chinese. We chatted while she was providing me my spa services. She said she heard that it takes 15 years to achieve your dream from the moment you have it in your mind to the moment it comes true.
I believe what she said is true. It may be a good time deadline for me to accomplish the items on my bucket list. As long as I don't loose focus I will be able to achieve them. If I work on something on my bucket list for the next 15 years, it will be completed. If I dream about something today and not work on it for 15 years, I can't expect it to happen. If it does happen, it will be a miracle. I should have bigger dreams and see how long it would take me to complete them.
I believe what she said is true. It may be a good time deadline for me to accomplish the items on my bucket list. As long as I don't loose focus I will be able to achieve them. If I work on something on my bucket list for the next 15 years, it will be completed. If I dream about something today and not work on it for 15 years, I can't expect it to happen. If it does happen, it will be a miracle. I should have bigger dreams and see how long it would take me to complete them.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Day 39: Procrastination
One time on MSN someone asked me what I was doing. I said I was busy procrastinating. Procrastination is a word I learned about 10 years ago. It is a word I use very often. I think I procrastinate every day. I know it`s a very bad habit. I get distracted very easily. If I have to do something on my computer, I will be distracted by a new website or something I have to look up.
I realized that I procrastinate because of the following reasons:
- I am not in a rush for anything
- I don`t want to do the assignment or activity
- I`m too lazy
- I make an excuse to not do it
I am not in a rush for anything.
Some days I don`t have anything planned. These are the days I procrastinate the most. I do one thing and that will lead to another. I will go on one site and that will lead me to another. The day can go on and on without me accomplishing any one thing.
I don`t want to do the assignment or activity.
When I was in school, I would procrastinate on doing my homework, especially if it was an assignment from a course that I didn`t like. It would have to be done but it will just take longer than expected.
I`m too lazy.
This is my famous excuse for everything. Some days I just don`t feel like doing anything. I may just feel like vegging out and watching TV (I have to enjoy my TV sometimes too). Sometimes I may pass the buck to someone else. I had a shirt that had to be mended. I asked my dad to do it for me. He said I should learn to do it myself. I said I know how to do it. I am just too lazy to do it myself.
I make an excuse to not do it.
The excuses comes in many forms. It can be `it`s too dark or too sunny or too raining`. It can be because I don`t know how to do it. It can be because I`m waiting for someone else to do their part then I can do my part.
After I procrastinate, I would feel bad later because I would get mad at myself for procrastinating. I would feel like I `wasted`my time. I figured a way to make it work in my life. I should just work in procrastinating time to what I`m doing. For example, when I pay my bills online, it should only take me 5 mins. But I know I`m going to procrastinate when I get online, so my new bill payment time will now be 10 mins. Another way to cut down on my procrastination is to have a piece of paper and pen beside by computer. This way I can write things down that I want to search for at a later day and not have to do it right away. I can also write a list of things I need to get done. I will feel a sense of accomplishment after I cross things off my list. If I didn`t cross anything off my list, I know I have been procrastinating for too long.
I realized that I procrastinate because of the following reasons:
- I am not in a rush for anything
- I don`t want to do the assignment or activity
- I`m too lazy
- I make an excuse to not do it
I am not in a rush for anything.
Some days I don`t have anything planned. These are the days I procrastinate the most. I do one thing and that will lead to another. I will go on one site and that will lead me to another. The day can go on and on without me accomplishing any one thing.
I don`t want to do the assignment or activity.
When I was in school, I would procrastinate on doing my homework, especially if it was an assignment from a course that I didn`t like. It would have to be done but it will just take longer than expected.
I`m too lazy.
This is my famous excuse for everything. Some days I just don`t feel like doing anything. I may just feel like vegging out and watching TV (I have to enjoy my TV sometimes too). Sometimes I may pass the buck to someone else. I had a shirt that had to be mended. I asked my dad to do it for me. He said I should learn to do it myself. I said I know how to do it. I am just too lazy to do it myself.
I make an excuse to not do it.
The excuses comes in many forms. It can be `it`s too dark or too sunny or too raining`. It can be because I don`t know how to do it. It can be because I`m waiting for someone else to do their part then I can do my part.
After I procrastinate, I would feel bad later because I would get mad at myself for procrastinating. I would feel like I `wasted`my time. I figured a way to make it work in my life. I should just work in procrastinating time to what I`m doing. For example, when I pay my bills online, it should only take me 5 mins. But I know I`m going to procrastinate when I get online, so my new bill payment time will now be 10 mins. Another way to cut down on my procrastination is to have a piece of paper and pen beside by computer. This way I can write things down that I want to search for at a later day and not have to do it right away. I can also write a list of things I need to get done. I will feel a sense of accomplishment after I cross things off my list. If I didn`t cross anything off my list, I know I have been procrastinating for too long.
Day 38: Time to Splurge
After working so hard on my bucket list, it's time to splurge. I feel I deserve some time to relax. My friends got me a gift card to Eccotique a few years ago for my birthday. After so many years, I thought I may not have any balance on it anymore. I just checked on the website and it still has the complete balance.
I have the day off tomorrow. With my days off lately I have been going out (ie. Cultus Lake) and haven't really been able to relax and rejuvenate yet. I have never been to one of those spas before. It will be a good way to just relax and get my mind off things. I am not sure if I have to make an appointment or I can just drop in.
I think it is good to splurge once in awhile. It can be expensive. If I only do it once in awhile its ok. I splurged by going jet skiing at Cultus Lake. It was an expensive experience. They way I think of it, I will be doing it once in a blue moon. If it was something I would be doing on a regular basis, I would be more cautious on the price of the activity.
You only live once. I grew up in the ghetto in East Van. We didn't grow up with expensive things. Our wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs and shopping at Army and Navy. We walked to Army and Navy because we lived close by.My parents taught me that I have to work for my money. I found a job at 15, the legal age to work. Yes, I have to admit I can be thrifty at times. I just don't see the value in buying expensive brand name things (ie. Coach, LV, Gucci). I get it from my parents. They are very cautious on what they spend their money on. These few years I have been making more money than I was before. I have paid off all my debts. I don't have any bills with outstanding balances. I can afford more things than before. I can splurge a little bit at a time. My excuse for not doing anything or buying anything before was because I didn't have the money. I can slowly eliminate that phrase 'I don't have the money' from my vocabulary. Now it is about enjoying what I want.
I have the day off tomorrow. With my days off lately I have been going out (ie. Cultus Lake) and haven't really been able to relax and rejuvenate yet. I have never been to one of those spas before. It will be a good way to just relax and get my mind off things. I am not sure if I have to make an appointment or I can just drop in.
I think it is good to splurge once in awhile. It can be expensive. If I only do it once in awhile its ok. I splurged by going jet skiing at Cultus Lake. It was an expensive experience. They way I think of it, I will be doing it once in a blue moon. If it was something I would be doing on a regular basis, I would be more cautious on the price of the activity.
You only live once. I grew up in the ghetto in East Van. We didn't grow up with expensive things. Our wardrobe consists of hand-me-downs and shopping at Army and Navy. We walked to Army and Navy because we lived close by.My parents taught me that I have to work for my money. I found a job at 15, the legal age to work. Yes, I have to admit I can be thrifty at times. I just don't see the value in buying expensive brand name things (ie. Coach, LV, Gucci). I get it from my parents. They are very cautious on what they spend their money on. These few years I have been making more money than I was before. I have paid off all my debts. I don't have any bills with outstanding balances. I can afford more things than before. I can splurge a little bit at a time. My excuse for not doing anything or buying anything before was because I didn't have the money. I can slowly eliminate that phrase 'I don't have the money' from my vocabulary. Now it is about enjoying what I want.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Day 37: Sense of Belonging
Do you ever feel like you don't belong?
Sense of belonging is the third tier in Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs. It goes after physiological (food, water, sleep, etc) and safety (security of body, employment, resources, etc). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mazlow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg) I think we all yearn for it on some level. Some people more than others. Maybe that's why people join gangs / organizations / associations. I know its bad to put gangs in the same category as organizations. But I think the underlying reason is the same: you want to belong to a group (something bigger than youself). I used to belong to many organizations / associations. It gave me a sense of focus and security. I don't belong to those organizations / associations anymore. It is maybe because my focus is on a different direction. I may look into other organizations / associations to join.
When I was in elementary and secondary school, sense of belonging was about being popular. It was also about being associated with someone popular. I don't think I was popular at all in school. I went to a different school in grade 5 because we moved neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with any of the 'groups'. In high school, I hung out with a few 'groups'. By grade 12 I was in the annual club and was hanging with my two buddies. The annual club was something that got me to interact with more students in the school. My two friends were super smarter than me. (They were 'A' students and I surely wasn't. I almost failed high school.). I felt left out sometimes on their conversations because they were in a different program than me. I didn't like the feeling of being left out or pushed out of a 'group'.
As I grew older and became more mature, I became more accepting of people. I have friends from all walks of life. I don't think I have a large group of close friends. I have a large group of acquintances. I don't care about being popular anymore. I am me. I have come to accept that popular isn't the way to go. There are a wide range of people. They all have something to offer. I belong to my family. I feel a sense of belonging with my co workers. I have a sense of belonging with my softball pals.
Sense of belonging is the third tier in Mazlow's Hierarchy of Needs. It goes after physiological (food, water, sleep, etc) and safety (security of body, employment, resources, etc). (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mazlow%27s_Hierarchy_of_Needs.svg) I think we all yearn for it on some level. Some people more than others. Maybe that's why people join gangs / organizations / associations. I know its bad to put gangs in the same category as organizations. But I think the underlying reason is the same: you want to belong to a group (something bigger than youself). I used to belong to many organizations / associations. It gave me a sense of focus and security. I don't belong to those organizations / associations anymore. It is maybe because my focus is on a different direction. I may look into other organizations / associations to join.
When I was in elementary and secondary school, sense of belonging was about being popular. It was also about being associated with someone popular. I don't think I was popular at all in school. I went to a different school in grade 5 because we moved neighbourhoods. I didn't fit in with any of the 'groups'. In high school, I hung out with a few 'groups'. By grade 12 I was in the annual club and was hanging with my two buddies. The annual club was something that got me to interact with more students in the school. My two friends were super smarter than me. (They were 'A' students and I surely wasn't. I almost failed high school.). I felt left out sometimes on their conversations because they were in a different program than me. I didn't like the feeling of being left out or pushed out of a 'group'.
As I grew older and became more mature, I became more accepting of people. I have friends from all walks of life. I don't think I have a large group of close friends. I have a large group of acquintances. I don't care about being popular anymore. I am me. I have come to accept that popular isn't the way to go. There are a wide range of people. They all have something to offer. I belong to my family. I feel a sense of belonging with my co workers. I have a sense of belonging with my softball pals.
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